Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Thirty-Fifth Post.

Because why the fuck not?

So... Prosper didn't kill someone I know this week. Least, not personally. A lot of you probably have seen this already, that he has killed Cam, Elaine's friend. Jake has disappeared, no idea if he was taken by Prosper or just ran. I'm worried for Elaine, especially after some things we have discussed and are still discussing privately.

I found on the path again something. A black satin sheet, you could make out in the sunlight blood. I confirmed with Elaine this was from Cam's bed. I am guessing Prosper popped back in or has separated from stalking Elaine for now. Was that a warning or something? Was he even trying to kill her? We've been talking, we both know him even if his real identity is still unknown. He was obviously employed back then as one of Executor's men still, the tattoos prove as much. What this could mean is still unknown, I wonder if Prosper even knew I was still alive and Elaine was out and about in the world still. If he did would that mean he's been watching this whole time?

Prosper, who the fuck are you? How long have you been around for?

It's apparent that he is acting on his own accord under Executor's orders. Not having anyone watching over his shoulder 24/7, it just shows that this guy is fucked up but efficient. That bugs me, it bugs me a hell of a lot.

Road Runner isn't any better. Seeing Trinity... God. Shit is still a mess. I haven't heard much from her, sometimes I think I see her moving out there but nothing can be confirmed. I don't know where she has been or why she has been so quiet. Should we be worried? Probably. She hasn't proven to be someone good even if she claims to be trying to assist us. Her methods fucking suck, and I don't mean they are full of fail I mean that they are just... Wrong, cruel, without mercy. Completely unorthodox. That's coming from me, that bitch that tortures folk. Fucks sake...

So I'm concerned. There was no Fifth Death, Prosper didn't announce Cam's (and maybe Jake's) death as the fifth. Does that mean the Fifth Death comes next? Without the week to separate or will he be back on schedule? I'm trying to figure out just who the hell it could be but I'm not getting anywhere. It's true, he's really killing off leads that I never even knew about and it's pissing me off. Dead and gone, all their experience, their memories, everything is just gone and I am left pulling together the pieces of their broken lives. What am I finding? Some old scrap papers? A few articles in the newspaper? Elaine, who was apparently in the same asylum as me as kids.

I can't remember.
Who the hell are you?
Who are you all and what are you to me?

One more article pulled and still I am not moving forward.
Trying to move forward and I find myself back two more steps before the week ends. How am I supposed to accomplish anything? How can I be their shield, your shield, if I am cracking?
And still... STILL there is no explanation as to why this is all happening. The root of it all, what started it, why as children were we already targeted. Mr. Sunshine... Why was he made into what he is now? Why are we all so fucked up, why are we chosen to not be blind to this all?

Do you want to be blind?

I wonder...
I will never be blind like them.
You cannot make me.

Heh. My position remains always, their shield. Their dented, paint chipping away, cracked, shield. My responsibility still remains... I will not abandon them. You. I will not be like the blind. I will not betray. Will not betray. Will protect you all.
Until my dying breath.

Until there is nothing left.

Stay safe,

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Thirty-Forth Post.

Crowley and Lehu are here. Nice people. Crowley is pushy but nice to be around, a nice change. He's been keeping me busy, keeping me from thinking about things.

But you like thinking.

I don't want to think right now.

We went to get supplies, he slapped me over the head when I, and I quote, "Gave him lip". Heh. Like this guy even if he is a little unstable right now. Feel bad, lost his creation and what a beautiful one it was. Didn't tell him that, didn't want to bring it up. Not my place. We got what was needed and went home. Began working. Lehu made food a lot of her stay so far, Mystery helped. Nice to see her bonding, being taken care of. Made things better. I like Lehu, very motherly. If I still clung to that sort of thing perhaps I would be envious she wasn't my own, it seems though those bonds have been severed. Even I don't know what that means.

Kicked Mystery out of the mansion for a bit. Kept getting shocked when doing the electric fence. Crowley huffed and grumbled and I mused if only a little bit. Just a little...

Trinity has slowed her tears.
I'm... Content a little bit because of that.

Prosper has be unusually quiet, last week and even now. No visual taunts, no mocking or cruel blog posts. I worry but I like the silence. I really... Really like the silence. Don't have to think right now.

Road Runner never came back after her comment on the previous post. Good. Read your post, bitch. You make me want to vomit.

Limeport Asylum is still closed. Patients have been moved temporarily to a nearby hospital. Been tuning into the news. I want to go back to the archives, both here and now over by Mystery. Maybe over there closer to the asylum the records will help fill in the holes I found so far.

For now I'm going to just go back to sitting here, can see the stars from where I sleep. Going to count them again. Got Mr. Sunshine here, he's dozed off leaning against my back as I typed this and did some other things. He mumbles in his sleep, you can faintly hear it through the double layers that cover his face. Going to get off of here in a second, be on cell as I usually am. Mr. Sunshine has been a bit down, think my behavior is bugging him. Sorry, bub, I really don't have it in me to pretend to be better. You can sleep here, though. Going to just be sitting... Awake. Fuck my life.
Just happy to at least have one fragment of my past here now with me. Even if I can't remember and even you might not remember, bub, times like these I am just happy to have something to lean into. Shit is just so screwed up... You've been protecting me more than I have you. I think you're going to be stuck doing that for a bit... I feel like I'm slipping. Even when I sleep, the blackness I can't hold onto, I can't grasp it. It feels like nothingness just slipping through my fingers. Is this my mind melting away? Where is my blackness and silence going?
God, I feel so pathetic, so small and insignificant.

I don't know what else to say really.
This post is pretty much empty.
Guess an update is an update, right?

Stay safe,

I was alone, falling free,
trying my best not to forget,
what happened to us, what happened to me,
what happened as I let it slip.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Fucks Sake.


This is so bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Holyfuckingpiss this is bad.


I don't know where to even start. During the night, I guess? Yea. That works.

It was... God I don't even know what time it was. I was just wandering about the place, as usual. Lack of sleep, checking in on everyone. I noticed Ron was gone... Again. But then I saw so was Trinity, my attention was caught. I heard minor rustling and flipped open the switchblade while approaching it. Peeking through one of the holes I could make out a small figure wandering off and I knew who it was by first glance. Slipping out the door I followed Trinity through the woods, we must have gone five or ten minutes away but even so I couldn't see the mansion. Outside of the wards and on her tail, I was not feeling very positive.

Trinity hid herself up ahead and I ducked as well, weaving through the trees until I was closer. I came to an unusual scene, Ron speaking to a girl who looked identical to Trinity. My heart fell into my stomach, instantly my mind screamed doppelganger. I looked at Trinity who was right ahead of me now but it was too late, before I could reach her she darted forward questioning her brother. The doppelganger jumped almost directly after the questioning, attempting to do harm upon Trinity. Her brother shooed the clone, chasing her away and young Trinity followed. I swore beneath my breath and ran after them, my attention being caught by another figure. I ducked and watched as the doppelganger argued with Ron and took the first swing. Ron took the hit badly, his cheek being cut open as she launched, he backed off dodging her next attempted blow and retaliated violently. His hand grabbed her wrist and pulled her past him, flinging the doppelganger away a few feet.

Not a surprise she landed on her feet, it was a briefly halt before she sprang back up and latched onto his arm that was still lifted, her small figure swinging forward and kicking upwards, catching the underside of his chin. Her other leg hooked over his shoulder and she pulled herself onto his back so swiftly it was remarkable. Her arm wrapped around his throat in a chokehold and she clung to his back like she was just a little kid getting a piggyback ride.

I noticed a boy in my line of sight who flinched practically, my mind filled with concern on him being an enemy, possibly attempting to ambush them. Ron was protecting Trinity even if she was going unnoticed. Rather than interfere like I wanted to I began stalking towards this unknown male, trying to determine him as friend or foe. That was when something tightened around my ankle and I found myself flung upside-down and dangling, swaying back and forth. My vision was blurred as I tried to gain back my vision, a shadow appearing out of nowhere directly below me. Thin and colorful, Road Runner tilted her head up at me. I demanded she help me down but she did not answer, her head craned to look at the others fighting before back up to me, "My advice, let the traitor die." her whisper was like a hiss, it felt as if razors were slicing across my cheek just listening to the distortion that came from her, the echoes that followed. Her body that remained as always within a constant state of motion lifted an arm and she waved her hand before vanishing out of sight again.

I felt a bitch fit brewing and used it to try and pull myself up on the rope. Not easy, I ended up forcing the damn thing to swing until I was able to grab the nearest branch and climb up enough to cut myself loose. Hitting the ground I coughed and pulled myself up, I saw from the corner of my eye as Ron slammed his back into a tree, skidded down to raise her up some before grabbing her by the hair and flinging her off of him. Trinity called to her brother and it alerted her doppelganger's attention, on all fours she reached into her pocket and pulled out a knife before launching off and on top of Trinity. Ron threw the pretender off his sister and he wrestled down the doppelganger and froze, coughing and choking as he fell off her. Trinity was screaming as she ran to him, cradling his form.

My heart sunk as my veins boiled, I pulled onto all fours still coughing away from the impact and urged myself to my feet. She was screaming again and I went to take a step and stumbled slamming into a tree, my head dizzy as air rushed into my sore lungs. Trinity skidded backwards as fast as she could we her brother in her arms still, crying hysterically in agony and fear. The boy that was in my line of sight before bolted from his spot as the doppelganger hovered over my precious Trinity and her precious brother, he blindsided the pretender and knocked her off her feet. All I know is the doppelganger gasped painfully and never got back up, the boy moved to Trinity and kneeled at her side pulling her into his arms as she held her brother within her lap sobbing.

I left my spot in the woods and watched over them for a short time just waiting for her to calm down enough. She knew this boy, my suspiciousness oozed to the point where she even tried to stutter out an explanation. I stopped her at that time and leaned down brush some hair from her damp face, she couldn't stay here anymore. In this spot, in this place where her brother died. She needed to back off from here and breathe, having faith in what Trinity manage to mutter and what the boy, Timmy, had spoken briefly I asked him to return her to the mansion and awaken Mystery. He helped the child back to our sanctuary as I was left with the two bodies, my knife in hand flipping open and shut anxiously. I checked the bodies and found them gone, no pulse, no nothing.

Two kids dead before dawn.

I wanted to vomit.

Gathering myself I shoved the switchblade into my pocket and moved to Ron, the first body I'd be taking back to the mansion. Upon arrival Mystery was ready, she was upset by Trinity, by this all, but she was ready. A blanket ready as I brought the body to the back and we covered it for burial later. I departed again to get the second corpse, kneeling down and plucking the child's body off the ground, looking into the face that was identical to that of our Trinity's. I shook at the dead youth, the thought of this being how our beautiful Trinity would look... If we lost her, after everything... I returned to camp with the light body in my arms and set down the doppelganger for disposal later as well. Mystery covered her after taking a moment to stare into the face of the dead little girl. I could hear Trinity from out there sobbing, looking Mystery deadest in the eyes as I listened. I think she knew right then what was going through my mind as we stood before the bodies, listening... I think she knew the weight and the blame and all that shit that was beginning to settle on my shoulders.

I sat nearby the reunited children, until Trinity calmed and lightly dozed off from exhaustion. I whispered apology after apology, unable to remain I left during her slumber that morning. It was a short walk only because I found a new gift on the path from Prosper. An old nurses hat dangled from a branch with a tag dangling from it with that same smiley face to just add insult to injury.

Two kids dead before dawn and one nurse, knowing Prosper enough to know his schedule. I took down the present and stared at the bloodstained fabric, shaking, my eyes stinging so badly but nothing would come out... Nothing. And I couldn't help but wonder what the fuck was happening to me that I couldn't even cry.

Am I that bad? Is that what you're telling me, Prosper? And Road Runner... Just, just what the fuck is wrong with you? That was her brother, her kin! Are you insane?! I don't give a two shits if he was the traitor, you bitch! If I see you... If I see you ever again I'll-I swear I'll make you bleed and cry and feel every ounce of pain she does. You make me sick and I can't do this.

I can't, I can't do this anymore. Why am I still writing? Have to help Trinity, protect who is left. Screw this, it's the next morning already and I'm just done. Screw writing anymore.

Fuck. Just leave me alone.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Thirty-Third Post.

The knife nearly flew from my hand at the crash against the wall of our sanctuary. Mystery and I barely looked at one another, already guessing it's probably some fuck trying to get our attention since they couldn't pass through the wards. Which meant they intended harm for those that did not had no problem passing through. I flipped shut the blade and grabbed the handle of the axe I always kept at my side, we left the mansion with Drake and Ecko inside, which might have been for the best in my opinion.

The moment we exited traps of all sizes flew at us, none of them intending to actually hit us. An attention grabber, I looked at the one responsible for this interruption to find it was a female, small thing. She held a good portion of traps in her hand as if their weight meant little, it wasn't hard to see with her hoodie she was athletic, the shorts she wore showed her running legs. Why anyone would be wearing shorts when dashing around the woods is beyond me but she appeared to have little to no scratch marks which only made me more suspicious. Her plain black hoodie wasn't as baggy as you would expect, trimmed in white and zipped up fully over what little chest she had. Her shorts pretty much matched and the running shoes she wore were white, worn down a bit. Her hands weren't covered which surprised me some, I wondered if this meant she did not have fingerprints (anymore) or if she just didn't care, would have to find out.

This girl's mask was just... Unusual. It looked like a cross between a bird mask and on of em' old plague doctors masks. Fully covering her face was a mask of white, black eyes most likely layered is my guess and they were outlined with a blue design. It sort of dipped down near the nose but the design flared with four spikes upwards at the outside corners of the eyes. On top of the mask was a mohawk of feathers of blue and yellow, tilted back some as if stuck that way from running. Her hair was freaking chocolate, a messy sort of straight pulled back into a ponytail, pieces outlined the mask some and there was a single strand that was beaded with all sorts of things I couldn't make out. The reason I said the mask looked like a cross between a regular bird mask and a plague doctors was because of the beak. Its scale was smaller, hell, feminine even. But the way it curved fit the latter more-so than being a regular bird mask you'd see in some stores. Aside from that she wore a bandana around her neck that covered a majority of it, blue and white with faint yellow, a pattern I couldn't make out.

Her fingers released the traps and dropped them to the ground at her feet. Her hand twitched violently, a body flinching for a reason I am unsure of even now. What was the strangest thing about her was she was a blur even when standing still. It looked like she was in a constant state of motion. This wasn't like Prosper who moved like a goddamn ghost, or like Executor who was a fucking phantom. She was just there one moment and then gone the next to be closer to the woods. Her version of a walk was blur of color, she moved more quickly to another spot before coming to a halt and looking our way. No words, no nothing. Just silence and then poof, she was gone.

Mr. Sunshine was growling like a beast even after she was gone. I looked down at his crouching form and placed my hand on his shoulder trying to ease the fellow. He grumbled and pulled up to a stand and followed me to the traps as I crouched down and picked through them carefully. Finding a majority of them only disarmed, the more... Lethal ones (block of wood with fricking spikes on a rope) seemed broken entirely, as if not meant to be used again. I asked Mr. Sunshine to bring over the other traps she chucked before, his form shadowed mine from behind and he dropped a dozen or so on top of the others. I looked over my shoulder and up at his smiling face, hard to stay annoyed at this guy. Beneath the dirt stains he's like an adorable man-child. Mr. Sunshine stayed outside, hovering over my shoulder for a few minutes before I was able to ease him to head inside and eat. Only once he was satisfied this Road Runner was gone did he go back to devouring everything Mystery handed over to him.

I picked through the traps and divided them up to assess what we'd be dealing with. I recognized a few of them as ones I set up myself but there were so many others and I was unaware as to who placed them out and about. It troubled me to know someone did this, it troubled me more to think about whether it was just Road Runner doing it to gain our favor... Or perhaps even worse, that there was an actual traitor within our band of fighters and survivors. I plucked up the traps and dragged them into the mansion and plopped them down on the slab of fallen wall I sleep on, when I can sleep. Pulling over the tool kit I began tuning and fixing fucked over traps. I spent most of the day fixing the ridiculous amount that chick left us, some of the next day as well. A nice break was taken, I spent time with Trinity trying to catch Mr. Sunshine and give him a bath.

...It did not go well, to put it mildly. He flipped the bucket of water and soaked me, Trinity was giggling and trying to towel me off while Mr. Sunshine clung to the ceiling like a fricking cat and hissed. I grabbed my pillow and chucked it at his face and he caught it and began eating it. You know, you really stop being surprised at these things after a while. Trinity filled up a "tub" with water while I grabbed some meat, it was the perfect lure. He spat out the pillow and ran after me. I threw it into the tub and he tackled me into it before I could get out of the way. All I heard was Trinity laughing again, the splash of her jumping into the mix. We left his clothes on for the most part, hell, they needed cleaning too. We scrubbed his sweatshirt, I flipped off his hood and Trinity gently cleaned off his face. It was rather cute how he sat rather contently in the water and she on the edge of our makeshift tub just cleaning out every crevasse of his face. It doesn't surprise me Mr. Sunshine has become fond of Trinity, he's still a child for the most part in mind and she still has that innocence despite her maturity. I honestly think she could keep him in control when I'm not around the best due to that similarity.

I leaned back in the tub and scrubbed Mr. Sunshine's mask, the plain white that was scarred rather viciously. There were no designs upon it, no paint, no sharpie marks, just this mask of white with scars that could be seen at a distance. Though you never see this mask because he hides it within his hood that has a poorly stitched covering that he can see through but you cannot see back. Like one of those grim reaper costumes, you know? I mused over the idea that's where he got it from, a childhood costume he might have worn before all of this or maybe one he saw over the years of watching under His hand.

I pulled myself out of the tub and wrung out my clothes with a sigh before hanging up his mask. Trinity hopped out and did the same before scurrying off to get some towels. Sunshine stripped out of most of his layers, save the necessary one for Trinity's sake, and I hung them up before wrapping the towel around my person and sitting next to Trinity on the rock as Sunshine finally tended to himself. We faced away and I listened, only having to shout once that he better not be trying to sneak out of the tub. Chucked a towel at him when he was done and he sat on the rock with us under the hole in the mansion so the sun could leak through and dry us faster. Mystery sort of just looked at us as if we were crazy before musing over our soaked selves all huddled under the sun. I'll admit, while I dislike getting soaked this had to be one of those times where I was just downright amused.

It was a nice break before I went out to set up some of the traps Road Runner disarmed. I mapped out where they were and made sure everyone was aware.

Now there is one thing... The note left in one of the traps. It read as, "You are losing it. You are losing what you are. You are losing it. This composure, your composure. You are losing it. Cannot even see the traitor in your ranks. The boy with lethal lead eyes. He is dead weight and I say cut him loose if you want to live another week. Hurry now before you lose all of it. Before you lose it all. Before all of your composure is gone."

So yea. Not sure what to say to that. Road Runner, you're a strange one that's so far has pissed me off bit by bit. You aren't doing yourself any favors by this. Sorry, I'm not going to hack away at the guys in our group, if there is a traitor we will deal with him or them or whoever then. Your actions have proven so far to not be very trustworthy and we cannot afford to walk into further potential danger.

So now you guys know what's been up, why I delayed the post as well. I dismantled some traps we weren't going to use for spare parts and other safety reasons. Everything is set up and in order. Nothing from Prosper since well... Before. Going to scope the area out later or tomorrow, depends on what is going on tonight.

Stay safe,

Monday, July 11, 2011

Thirty-Second Post.

After today Ive come to the conclusion that I want my kin protected now that I have distanced myself from them. I refuse to abandon my family but I cannot be there as often anymore and it's only going to get worse. Mystery is going to make up some wards and protections for them for when they are home or moving about. From then on I will be working with those at the mansion, putting up information, I will pursue Prosper and I will end this.
Can't stop me now.
I've been not sleeping still... My appetite remains scarce. I've been using all that extra time to organize information to begin posting. I think I'm ready to begin soon. Fuck. I need a break though first, I think I'm going to give Mr. Sunshine a bath. He hid himself the last time but we managed to chuck some soapy water at him, heh. Going to see if Trinity wants to lend a hand, he rather likes her even if he seems to dislike Ron.

Stay safe,

Thirty-First Post.

It's been announced... The death of a girl I went to school with, that I used to see every single day, that I used to sit next to. Found her name, found her face, and I remember. Ghostly whispers of cruel words that spewed her mouth. I remember snapping, slamming her against the cold cement walls, coming home bleeding and bruised that day. The verbal abuse that tore a hole through my defenses as a child. I remember this girl that is now dead because of Prosper, every cruel thing she did to me. Every single tear that was shed because of her, every thought... I remember, Annie.

I never got to tell you how you fucked me over as a child. How shit was already bad but you... You just made it so much worse. I remember the knife. I remember seeing red and you bleeding in the park that afternoon. I remember, do you hear me? I remember you.

And now you're dead and gone and I'm stuck wondering if I should be happy.

Thing is, Annie, I'm not happy. I'm not relieved you've dropped dead, that your family is mourning you, because I'm not like that. I will never be like that. I won't be like you when you smiled at the deaths of my kin. I'm not going to go to your family and tell them how much of a brat you were, skew their image of their daughter. I'm not happy you are dead because now you will never know the rage and the misery and all the fucking confusion you made me feel. You will never be able to comprehend now just how you distorted my mind. How many times I had to question why no one was helping, why your friends helped you and not me, why no one did a fucking thing when they all knew what was happening, why you hated me but I never did a goddamn thing.

I see now, though, Annie. Little... Blonde... Annie. I see now you never hated me. You just hated yourself and you died hating yourself. And I think now to myself that maybe that's a fitting punishment for you, for all the pain done unto me and others. I think I'll let your memory remain in this world as the loving daughter who was good at sports, at cheerleading, the whore behind the curtains of the stage. I think I'll let that sit and stay. But we know better, Annie. You and I and all the others I tried to defend from you, we all know what you were. And now you're dead, and you're going to stay dead forever hating yourself.

Rest In Peace, Annie, for you sure as hell never made any for yourself while you were here.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Thirtieth Post.

Decided to take a walk back to the house to clear my head, found something again. Just starting on the shortcut I found a box just sitting there, a dull, stained, cardboard box. A crimson ribbon tied around it to dress it up as well. I kneeled down and unwrapped it, let me say this now... If you're squeamish you shouldn't read any further. I intend to describe to you the picture still burned within my mind.

This latest present from Prosper was alarming. I opened the lid and found it bare minus three things. Within the center of the box was a human tongue, kept in place by two pins that had red balls on the top of them. There isn't a doubt in my mind this thing was still considered fresh... Just a couple hours old. On each side of the tongue was a tooth, glue into the box to remain stationary. Canines from a person, same person most likely. The box was stained with blood, the tongue and canines even were covered still. I shuddered then and I shudder now writing this finding. Flipping the lid I found written in blood, "THIRD DEATH" and beneath was a smiley face, again. I brought back the box to the mansion and photographed it (No, I will NOT post these, I think I'll be banned for even trying), showed Mystery who was disgusted to put it mildly.

She offered to try and contact the deceased owner of these body parts (god that sounds awful), I appreciated the notion but honestly... If this is what Prosper did to whoever, it being most likely worse than what he left me, I doubt the deceased would want to come back. I think they'd want to be as far away from the living as long as he was walking around here. Didn't want to kick their grave after whatever they went through.

Saw Prosper's post too. I can't say I fully follow what he means, you know... Lack of a memory will do that to ya. But the victim I'm guessing is female by the poem he used, from what he has said ("Would you hurt for the one that hurt you?") I guess it's safe to assume this person played the role of a bully of sorts in my past. I don't really know how I feel about this other than confused and anxious. I can't feel hurt for someone that did me harm that I don't even remember, but I can't feel nothing for someone Prosper is killing while pointing the blame at me.

I've come to this conclusion: Prosper, I hate you. I hate your blurred face from my memory/dream, I hate your mask, I hate your voice, your everything. I hate you for being a pawn, for murdering people, for fucking with the people I care about. I hate you for fucking with my mind, for torturing my body. Do you know what I'm going to do to you, Prosper? I'm going to string you up and just leave you there. Not do a thing, because I'm better than what I must have been, surely by now. So I'll let you rot on your own time when I catch you, and you can do your dance in the hell you created for yourself.

On that note, I'm burrying this box in the garden, deep in the garden. Got the shovel and everything set up, going the whole six feet. Hopefully this burial will bring some peace to the victim.

I'm sorry, whoever you were.

Information is coming.
Can't stop me now.

Stay safe,

Saturday, July 9, 2011

The Asylum.

I left the others at the mansion with a brief explanation, some instructions, and suggestions. I really hoped all would be alright, we only know of a few watching but who’s to say there isn't more? Preparations done I headed back home. Right on the path back to my house hung a bloody sleeve from a branch, a smiley face drawn upon it in marker. Just what was needed to kick off the night, right? I took it with me, tossed it into the car and drove off to Mystery's last known location that Trinity was able to find. Got to love that girl not just for her heart and mind but her skills as well. Limeport Asylum was the target tonight, I drove nearby and parked on the side of the road further down. The hike up to the asylum was long; I trailed through the woods and followed close enough to make out the driveway. At the edge of the woods came the lawn which was a couple yards before the fence.

Near the gate some security guards stood talking idly with coffee in their hands, the two men inside the booth watching silently. I slipped around and moved through the woods to scout out the building and determine the best place to enter. The woods covered a majority around the building, minus behind it. I did not appreciate army crawling behind the building before I was able to get back up on the other side and into the woods. I scouted back around to the gate but saw no guards. I was worried briefly I was noticed and they went looking, quickly moving back around I didn't find anyone behind the building. Running through the woods back to where I originally walked up from I still saw no guards, which was about when a laugh caught my attention. I turned my attention towards the voice, upon a portion of the fence the insides of the guards were strung like Halloween decorations. The corpses lay discarded and surrounded the figure that initially captured my attention. A woman in white, a face I recognized through a screen only.

The Oracle of Lies.

The bat within my hand faltered, I no doubt reached a new shade of pale and the grin that adorned her face didn't help. This wasn't good, why was she here? What--Did that mean Victor was here? What the hell is going on?! My mind reeled demanding to look past her and focus on what was necessary. Mystery. I felt my insides kick with adrenaline, the bat in hand becoming firm in my grasp. Fuck fear, it's only wasting time.

"I don't have time for this shit." I sneered and ran out of the woods to the booth and opening the gate. Not even trying to be subtle anymore, if she was here than he was going to be and that meant all sorts of trouble, unwilling trouble. I didn't want trouble, so tired of trouble, but when did we ever avoid it?

I entered the gates and went around to the back of the building to the stairs leading down to the basement, so happy to have scouted. A fine entrance, unlocked even. I slipped inside, a laundry room and a few activity rooms made up it. Nothing I wanted, I ran as quietly as I could trying to find a same door upstairs. It only led me to run into an orderly, he was not a happy fellow once he realized I was not from the asylum. I quote, "You're not supposed to be here, little thing." was said, I grumbled at the fact the Executor had taken it upon himself to indoctrinate an orderly, or possibly more... If not all. Well, I made him even more unhappy by smacking him with the bat. He tried to attack, nearly succeeded, but a hit to the head with a bat made of steel tends to render someone unconscious pretty damn fast. I dragged his sleeping self into a nearby room and found the door upstairs.

The corridors were an off white, stained and just... Awful. I ran down the hall on the balls of my feet, trying to keep sound to a minimal by applying less pressure to each step. Slinking around corners, I felt like I was in some bad videogame.

"Patients have been pretty bad today. Had to sedate a couple of them, others been starting fights." A voice grumbled, male, coming from the right.

"Not right." A female sighed, I peeked around the edge to see a desk where the woman sat behind, an orderly speaking to her. "They have been behaving strangely most of the day."

The man coughed a few times before speaking, "Now they are just sitting, staring at nothing. I passed by a few patients and they all were just sitting there, same direction every one of them; doing nothing, saying nothing. Couldn't get a reaction to save a life."

I pulled away from the end of the hallway and looked into the nearest room to find the patient sitting on the bed, staring at nothing like the man described. I wrinkled my nose and slinked my way past them down the hallway further. I looked into the passing rooms, each patient was faced in the same direction and was completely expressionless. I switched between left and right doors looking at every patient, all unmoving, no change. I continued and noticed finally a change, their bodies attention shifted towards my direction by a fraction.

Just what are you all looking at? The thought echoed as I looked down the hallway and found just what it was. Victor, standing tall as ever. My mind reflected on the pages of text I read from his blog, the journal entries. My "Oh shit!" moment slapped me hard in the face; I looked at the patient in the room next to me. Yea, no doubt he was looking in Victor's direction, as were all the others. It's been a bit since I saw him in person but already there was no doubt he's changed. It wasn't difficult to distinguish the change in threads; World War II German military fatigues adorned his large frame. It wouldn't take a genius to see they were worn down some, which didn't surprise me. The fact he wasn't dirty and in better condition was noticeable, it made my mind whirr with this transition but the hulking form reminded me there were other matters to focus on. Do you know what it's like to be yards away from a man that towers you and could break the only object you have to defend yourself with in half? It feels like every itty bitty piece of you still clinging to hope is crushed because you know, you just fucking know if one thing goes wrong you aren't waking up. And with that same white mask that obscured the man beneath, expressionless and as empty as the patients that gazed his way looked at you... You just knew it was going to be a very bad day.

What do you say to that? You'd think I would have known by now, right? I glanced from side to side, uncertainty pulling at my insides, an escape plan needing to be formed. The sound of his military boot hitting the tile floor, cracking it with such force, brought back my attention. Alert by the one step closer, still at a distance but when has closing in on a kill ever been a problem for him? Not with the way he moved. Funny thing is I knew that had I not been worried for Mystery and my life lasting till she got the hell out of here, I would have been more than happy to see him. Call me crazy, go ahead. I'd rather be crazy and help someone suffering than be like the ignorant fucks that do nothing. Just like the others that serve Him, he deserves someone to fight to prevent further suffering and who is willing to march through Hell to strive and find new ways to help when the old ones don't work.

But at the end of it all this wasn't about Victor. Not tonight, not here. And as I inwardly writhed I knew it probably would be meaningless if the Oracle is the one that unleashed him upon this place. As much as I wanted to do nothing more than offer him the same help I do through the screen that usually separates us I couldn't, Mystery was top priority, and dealing with an unleashed Victor was not on the list of things to do. On top of that I really didn't want to whack him with this thing, not because it would probably just piss him off more-so than hurt him, but because I really wasn't looking forward to doing him harm anyways. On top of that the idea of even being able to deal damage seemed very... Unlikely.

Have to find Mystery. Save her, get her out of this hellhole. That's what mattered now, that's what would have to matter. My heart wrenched, it felt like abandonment to what I promised to do despite my mind knowing otherwise. Looking upon Victor, gazing into the black holes where his unseen eyes laid behind... I'm sorry. Was the only thing that came to mind. And then I said within my head, Fuck all emotions and carry out your mission.

There wasn't any more time to waste, though. I held the bat with both hands in front of me and mapped out the building I have explored so far. Specifically where I came from. Right, just crossed an intersection can back track. I huffed a breath making up my mind to act now rather than delay. I kicked off backwards and around the bend, immediately coming into view of the security guard. He yelled at me, the woman got up from the chair but I didn't stop. The moment he attempted to grab me I purposely tripped myself, skidding beneath his grasp and pulling myself up when I slowed. Around another bend, behind all there I could hear was screaming. I faltered briefly, it was inevitable. I should have realized that people were going to die either way. Should really stop being surprised by this shit.

Passed another intersection and bolted right, got down the hall when two orderlies walked around the corner. I skidded to a halt, they were already alert. I cursed Executor and his goddamn influence, normal people weren't this alert. The two men came at me; I jumped into the wall dodging being mauled and stumbled away from being grasped, which only led me to knocking into the opposite wall. Loudly swearing about the corridors and what not I swung the bat, really hoping they'd just get knocked out quickly. The real purpose of bringing the bat and not the axe, I really didn't want the blood of a dead person on my hands. Knocked out, that's a different story, beat the shit out of these fucks if I had to. They'd heal; have a story to tell if they remembered any of this. All good.

So when my arm was grabbed and pulled into an awkward angle while I was separating distance I swore loudly, but that didn't last. There was a blur, my arm pulled briefly before being freed, a sickening crack from a sledgehammer making contact with the man's forearm. I pulled away and back off from the close proximity of Victor, my shoulder cracking as I rolled it. I witnessed as he brought down the hammer upon the fallen orderly who had previous grabbed me, silencing the man with one swing to the skull. Without a moments waste he swung upwards at the second oncoming orderly, catching him beneath the chin and sending him backwards. Simple movements as if they meant nothing, these orderlies didn't stand a chance. It meant nothing because they were nothing in comparison.

"Find the woman. Leave them." The Caged One whispered as Victor hovered over the fallen man, hammer raised. "Leave. Them. Be." The voice hissed as the hammer was dragged downwards and connected with the man's torso. It didn't just stop there. Every hit seemed to aggravate the Caged One, her voice screamed through my mind, "Run!"

The bat in my hands faltered, clanging against the tile. It was enough to have him look over. The Caged One raged, furiously tugging at my mind until my body obeyed. I was running, bat in hand firmly. I was just running, corridor after corridor, the stained white passing by and blurring together. The lights above made my eyes squint as I sprinted, the world itself whooshing by and eventually falling silent.

Silence... A flash of blackness, slowly melting away... Everything just shifted.

"Back to the place where I was made."

Ghosts ran by, a taller brunette child and a young dirty blonde. Both wearing asylum gowns, their small feet padded softly against the cold tile. The blonde fiddled with her hands, flinching as the brunette hurried her along. The two hurried down the corridors, peering for anyone that might be around. A shaky breath from the thin brunette, her dark eyes wide as she scanned the hallways.

"You lost?" The blonde asked a small twitch as she looked over her shoulder before back to the brunette.

"Be fine. All is fine. We'll get out. Yes. Freedom. Get you out."

The younger one's eyes narrowed, "We're both getting out."

"Doesn't matter." The girl muttered as she tugged along the other child towards a door. "Can't let them see. You. See you. Know you. Can't let them."

"Know what?"

The brunette turned grasping the blonde by the shoulders and shaking her, "Do not ask! Do not think! Do not question! Run. You keep running. When older you will see. Adapt. We all adapt. Have to. We have to. Or die."


"No! No more questions! Exit. Run away. Don't stop. Don't go home. Run only."

The blonde's eyes watered with confusion as she wrung her hands anxiously, "Then what?"

"You never forget. Ever. You then become more of what you already are."

The door opened but not because of the brunette, rather a white coat with four orderlies. A scowl adorned his blurred face, the dark lines showed that clearly enough. Everything burned all at once, his face melted, everything just faded to black. The eyes opened to a bright light--the brunette screaming--nurse being gutted--screaming--black hospital cross--running across the grounds, down the lawn with the hooded boy--I missed you--drowning, awakening, screaming--a scruffy man with hollow eyes but a cruel smile, wearing an orderly outfit as he raised to trace a white mask that could not be made out--injection, no, no, stop!--IDONTWANTTODIE!--staring at the man as the vision faded out--IDONTWANTTODIE--cut to the back of a car, the same blurred mask staring hovering, the same hollow eyes--


Walking down the street as a car slowly pulled up--disappearance of a young blonde thing--the field with the hooded boy--

"It was never Mr. Sunshine." Cage One murmured, standing in the middle of the corridor looking younger than the last time. Her hair was lightening from a brunette, a sad, ghostly smile on her lips. "You're the reason he is the way he is. For her," She waved to the thin brunette frozen in time, "for the deaths, for us. It's all on you. Every. Last. Drop. Of. Blood. Spilled."

My hands dug into my hair, grabbing at my skull as I attempted to calm the trembling, to calm just everything the fuck down.

Layers peeled away until reality fell back into place...

I blinked back, finding myself hunched over with my arms wrapped around my head. My heart raced painfully, standing up straight and looking ahead only made it worse. The sight of the Oracle directly in my face made things so much worse, so fucking much. I literally flinched, my shoe hitting the bat that must have fallen at some point. The sound of the metal bat being kicked made me jump further, by the time I looked back at the Oracle she was gone, nothing but laughter echoing down the halls. I slapped myself with a shaky hand and grabbed the bat off the floor, running to find Mystery. Three orderlies later I did. I looked through the slot and saw her unhappy self. She was sitting on the bed with her eyes squeezed shut, legs tucked Indian Style. The patient pajamas she wore loosely clung to her frame, a straight jacket pinning her arms from being used. A violent spike of aggression flooded my system seeing her in such condition, I fumed and 
pulled back before swinging the bat into the slot, a small crack. I swung again and again until it cracked open a hole. I looked back in and grinned with some relief, my body involuntarily twitching.

"Hey." I called out lamely, "Stay back." Let's just say it wasn't an easy battle against the door but at the end of it the damn thing was on the ground and I was a bit sore. Briefly I glanced up and down the hallway, she was already at the opening. "Let's get the hell out of here."

"Don't have to say that twice." She murmured and looked past me, freaking out about the giant stain on the wall. I glanced back before looking back at her as if she was crazy before mentally smacking myself. I calmed her down as quickly as I could while unclipping her from the straight jacket, tossing the damn thing into the room afterwards.

I looked her over, obviously her body was weary but her behavior seemed normal, if not somewhat tired. I'm guessing she was pumped with something, I didn't ask. Didn't need to. "You know what direction the exit is?"

"Yea." Mystery said as she brushed some hair from her face. "Go down that hall; turn right at the second corridor." She replied automatically, her eyes narrowing as she looked around for more stains, no doubt.

I griped the bat tightly and headed off, listening to how closely she followed and making sure to move at a pace she could keep up with. Paranoia ate away, I cringed at nothing, twitched with some irritation. Past bleeding into the present, I swore mentally. Mystery was not blind; I saw her look of concern. Looked like she was the stable one of mind here, and I of body. I was relying on her for directions as she was relying on me for protection. We passed the first corridor and kept moving down the hallway to the second, inching our way to the exit. An orderly must have noticed, he called out at us from the first corridor and came running out into the hallway. I raised the bat but a blur slammed the man into the wall, I knew all too well just what it was too.

"Is that-?"

"Yes!" I bit out with some urgency, "He's free roaming with the Oracle."


I shrugged, "Easy pickings?"

Mystery scowled as Victor dropped the body, "We need to go."

I agreed and rushed with her into the second corridor, the sound of screaming echoing behind us. The high pitched laughter I knew all too well reaching us. I wrung the neck of the bat, I could feel my body growing warm and ready to boil over with stress. The thought of lasting till we reached safety given Mystery's condition was the only motivation that kept me from flipping a bitch. Her instructions on where to go were helpful, I thanked whothehellever for giving this woman a brilliant mind because we sure as hell would be fucked to the bone by now if she didn't memorize the exit.

"Just up there." She said tiredly, I glanced over my shoulder assessing her state. Her body wouldn't last between stress and meds, my mind wouldn't last either as I could feel the seams being pulled apart. I bit my lip, hard, to distract myself from such things and snap back to the exit that was just ahead.

We ran to the door, our footsteps bouncing off the walls. My hand reached for the handle but it turned all its own and opened, a darkened face of a white coat stared down at us. Another orderly. "@#%&*%&$?" He questioned my name; I paled staring up at him. Mystery yanked me back; I raised the bat and shouted for him to get out of the doorway. "What are you doing here again?" He asked side stepping around us, Mystery scooted towards the doorframe and I covered her, never taking my eyes off him.

"Again?" I bit out impatiently.

"You still don't remember, it's been years and your memories haven't come back?" The man sounded surprised and I threatened him with a heated glare that promised a skull fracture. "Your mind was supposed to recover after you were accidentally overdosed by one of our staff members, but that was years ago."

I sneered at the way he phrased it, "How the hell does someone accidentally overdose?"

"One of our old employees administered a dose that you were already given because he wasn't informed otherwise."

"Who was he." I demanded, glancing briefly at Mystery who was leaning against the doorframe, whimpering briefly as she shut her eyes from the stain on the ceiling.


"Give me a fucking description, now!" I interjected for the sake of getting her the hell out of here.

"Tall, big guy, dark hair, brown eyes-"

"Distinguishing features."

He looked at me like I was crazy, "Uh-had a tattoo on both his wrists that read 269. Guy never explained it when we asked. Kind of kept to himself. Made some paper mache masks for some patients but they were all destroyed when he quit."

I was looking at Mystery by then, the bat shaking in my hands. She was speaking, I could see her lips moving as she looked me in the eyes but I couldn't hear her over my heart beating. Her expression quickly changing into sudden alarm, her hand grabbing my forearm and pulling me back towards the doorframe. I looked over my shoulder as a dark figure passed by and knew who it was. The man I was speaking to screamed as he was knocked to the ground, I pulled from Mystery's grasp with the intention to save him.

"Stop! He knows! He knows something!" I screamed at Victor, arms grabbed me and dragged me back through the doorway as the sledgehammer fell. The sickening crack removing the only firm lead I had from existence. I hit the wall as Mystery slammed shut the door and locked it; I rubbed my face before kicking off the wall. At one another's side we ran to the exit just down the hall, past security guards that lay disemboweled. We exited the bleeding building and raced down the long driveway. The farther from there the better. No sounds came from the woods; the only thing that could be heard was the Oracle's mad laughter that echoed through the night. Getting into the car I peeled out, a figure catching my intention in the mirrors. It was Him, standing at the bottom of the driveway, facing our direction. Mystery was panicking as was I, slamming on the gas we headed straight back for our protected home. There wasn't much that could be said, I was stricken with silence and Mystery... She needed to rest. We needed to think and then talk or something like that.

I don't know. Writing this just... Pisses me off. I'm supposed to be solving the missing pieces but all I seem to be doing is losing more and more of what's left of me, of the control I've come to have.

Mystery, I'm so happy she's back and starting to recover. So happy this is done with, that this post can just be done with and we can move on from it. So happy. So fucking happy. And yet not at all.

Stay safe,

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Twenty-Ninth Post.

Because we fucked currently we have to be fucked over some more. Mystery left yesterday to her family after the Executor's post. So I'm watching over the place. But I got a phone call, a noisy as fuck one. To put it shortly: It's not good.

It was a gurgled call, she was running. Telling me about visiting her sister at the asylum and that she was screwed over. The orderlies were in the background yelling at her, she made it outside and was running but... They got her. I've been setting up everything up to make sure they are all alright while I am gone. I trust Drake and his companion to handle things. I trust Mr. Sunshine to guard the place and the others to behave smartly and stay safe.

This post will be publishing itself at 12:30 A.M. as scheduled, around the time I should be arriving. Least estimations say so. Just so everyone has a timeframe if we're gone longer than we should be. Unlikely, I plan to break her the hell out. I will get her out.

Stay safe,

Monday, July 4, 2011

Twenty-Eighth Post.

Been back for a while now. Mystery picked me up from the airport, greeted her and then practically dragged her out of there. We discussed things in the car and she elaborated on her "dream" when we got back to the mansion. I got to meet our guests which was nice. Trinity mauled the shit out of me, Sunshine dogpiled both of us. Despite not really being in the mood for it I squeezed them both and smiled one. After going over the things regarding Mystery's "dream" we went ahead to speak about Executor's latest post. We are both angry, completely sick of his game. On top of that Dodgy is alive, can you believe that? He lived, jumped bodies. What the fuck... I don't even know.

I popped home earlier after Mystery and I talked, saw everyone since no one really works Sundays, least not often. It was nice, didn't stay long. Honestly, didn't want to. Feel shitty for saying that but it's true. They don't even notice me gone, don't want to deal with that. My mind keeps asking me if this is even home, if I would even know the difference with the lack of memories, why I consider this place a home, if I even have a home to begin with. It's... Fuck. I laid on my bed for two hours when I got home, didn't feel better. Felt worse, actually. Just watched the fan on the ceiling go around and around until I got a headache. I checked on the traps around the property before I left.

Prosper was spotted, kept his distance. It was brief, a glimmer. He steped out of nowhere and weaved through some trees, looking my way before vanishing again. I picked up a rock and chucked it as hard as I could into his direction even after he left. Fucking taunt, didn't even appear long enough for me to question... Not that he'd even answer them anyways.

The only thing I could think about on the way back is "I don't know". And you know... I really hate it. Doesn't matter what happens, I still don't know. Didn't know before, didn't know when it was happening, don't know now, probably won't know in the future. What the hell? Am I supposed to just move forward within a constant state of unknowing? Again, I don't know. I don't have the answers. This all sounds like a wad of shit too. I probably know more than I am giving credit for, but hell... Still feels like I know nothing, and I'm not about to presume I know everything or more than what I do. I just wish I knew something, or at least was sure about fricking something. No... I just wish I could feel sure about something mostly. Yea, that's the winner.

Anyways, delayed Twitter post was due to visiting and talking, then home, then back for dinner at the mansion. Would have written this thing earlier but... I don't know. I really just haven't been motivated. Checked over the mansion and everything, peeked at the others when they had gone to bed. Spent some time with Mr. Sunshine in his spot. I think he knows something is up, not by my behavior. He seemed... Peeved. I wonder if he knows anything, thinking of questioning later again. Maybe he's found more of his voice.

Great, 4:30 A.M. and I'm sleep deprived again. Funny, I'm doing it to myself. Haven't been able to eat much, nor sleep. Like I said in the last post I'll get some stuff up soon. Spam Blogger with information and what not. Sorry for the late/early post, keep getting distracted but these thoughts. Seriously, just shrug off typos. I really don't care at this point.

Anyways... Plan is that Mystery is heading out while I take watch. She's going to check in with her family and everything again after what Executor posted. I'm hoping for good results, maybe some more answers. Something could have been missed, right? I should just make my catch phrase "I don't know" rather than "Stay safe" at the end of these posts.

Ughs. Happy Fourth of July, everyone.
Maybe blowing up something will make shit shine.
Aka, make things better.

Stay safe,

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Twenty-Seventh Post.

It's 4:48 A.M. and I cannot sleep. Haven't been able to, fucks sake. Dodgy is dead, after yesterday evening we decided to execute him via a fatal dose of cyanide. Zach had other methods in mind, to bluntly put it though they lasted too long or were too much. I'd rather prefer to let the fellow, as sick as he may be, drift away without much suffering. Standing by the table and watching did not bother me as much as it should. It's not because we were "removing a rotten apple from the world" or "he deserved to die" shit. Maybe that would have been better than this... Familiarity. I loathe it, the strings that tug me to look into the past for reasons I do not know. Never liked fate, never liked destiny. I don't care if that is mean or shitty of me but I don't want to be controlled by something else, my actions are then not my own and I cease what little value I possess if nothing but a puppet to such things.


I'm sitting on the couch right now, sort of just lounging while Zach is in the bedroom doing whatever at this time of the night. Fought him to sleep out on the couch, heh. Writing this I'm hoping to get off some of that goddamn pressure bearing down, hoping by the end of it at least a fraction -even the smallest amount- will be gone. Dodgy is gone, the familiarity of standing near a dying and/or dead fellow can wait. I'm just... I don't even know what the word is. Relieved? No, that's just... That's just shit. I refuse to be relieved at another's exspense. But Mystery is a little safer at least, right? After his blog, those fucking hints--She's going to be safe with the rest of them. Protect the family.

Maybe I'm just being dramatic after that post I saw earlier from Prosper. He's claiming to have killed someone, the Mentor aka "Second Death" on a list or in some order, I don't even know. I'm tired as fuck but can't sleep... I just want to sleep, guys. And it's killing me, these thoughts, going over everything... How can I just scoff it off as a scare tactic when I don't even know my own goddamn history?! I can't write off that which means I'm going to have to pull out everything I still have from back then and search for a "mentor" that fits the description.

It bothers me just to think about it. He claims I'm the reason this Mentor is dead. I'm stuck now to wonder how that can be, what reason could I possess that would motivate that. Tried to help me, Prosper claims this Mentor had done. I'm guessing done as in past tense because it sure as hell isn't present. I have so much crap I need to post here it's ridiculous.

I'm leaving in the late morning back to New Jersey. Just going to stay up, screw it. Maybe I'll sleep on the plane ride. I don't know. All these... Fucked up dreams, I don't know what I want. I don't know what I need. It's just getting worse.


Rant, rant, rant.
Not feeling any fucking better. Least not by much, bleh. Just going to shut this thing down... I'm sick of just staring at Prosper's page and seeing... Just, everything. I mean, it's not much but it's enough. I don't want to keep looking, keep thinking. I miss my silence... My blackness.

Dodgy is dead.
I'm leaving later today.
I will be posting what I can, as much as I can. Executor, past shit I found/find, updates, everything. Least it will be up somewhere. I'll date it either at the top or something, label it so you guys know.

Sorry guys. Had to rant or vent or whatever.
Need to process everything, that's all. Just need to think.

Stay safe,