Thursday, November 24, 2011

Nothing Better To Do.

So I'll go ahead and tell about my time with Ferus. I told you I'd explain what happened from start to end. I've already been yelled at and questioned, the prior to which really doesn't faze me. I mean really, Mystery hounded my ass worse with just her look, guys. And that budged me only so much, so nice try.

I made the choice fully aware of what was going to happen. Before I met Ferus it wasn't hard to see he is a professional and damn good at his job, which I found out personally later. I wasn't going to take him lightly, and him being kind enough to declare I was next was all I needed to prepare. I talked to Brood immediately, he wanted to set up MASC soldiers with me but I objected. We argued over the matter that my life was in danger, mostly because Mystery is out in the world with limited contact and that leaves just me to organize the information we have been gathering (mostly that she left too). So if I happened to poof, well there goes their lead. Brood, I'm going to say just this: Bitch, please, I see right through you.

We organized some things together and the rest were informed of what was most likely going to come to pass. Mr. Sunshine wasn't pleased, to say the least; he threw one of the tables across the room and into the wall before storming off. He really hates not being able to defend our party. I began leaving the mansion, alone, though he'd try to follow quietly. He's not all that sneaky in the daytime, though. I had to send his ass home numerous times.

Ferus was coming and there was no stopping it. So... Rather than twist within the web and alert the spider I waited patiently and conserved my energy. When he arrived, damn, I was caught off guard completely. I was in the woods, after leaving the mansion when he appeared out of nowhere, or more like the explosion did. Gallows and Graves didn't lie about his teleportation, bright with fire just immediately devouring the dry leaves. I stepped back and reached for my knife, head swimming and eyes blurry, disorientation taking over my senses. My hand was on the hilt of the knife but it didn't matter, I heard the crack against the side of my head before I felt anything. Blacked out immediately from what I found out later to be a cricket bat, fitting considering the pain my head was in when I woke up.

When I did finally come to I found myself within a less than comfy chair. My mind panicked at first but seeing Ferus just sitting there in front of me I forced back composure, I have a habit of doing what I can to not give people what they want, satisfaction included. I looked around the room we were in which was anything but cozy, reminded me of my basement a bit. Out of everything the wardrobe behind Ferus caught my attention most, mainly because a human hand was sticking out of it. I wasn't even going to ask. My eyes ran down to the chair I was in briefly before back up to Ferus, "That was a dirty trick you used to get me here." I told him while taking in his appearance, I really didn't care at that point and shamelessly observed. He looked just as described by Graves. Once again I felt like the smallest person in the world.

"Admittedly, though I must say that dirty tricks are what's keeping me in business. How's the chair? Is it comfortable?" His voice sounds off to the human ear but it's still that of a man, one who speaks insincerely when the last two sentences leave his mouth.

I rolled my eyes at his tone, "Your chair is lovely. A bit restricting, though. Want to do something about that?" I gave my wrists a wiggle in the straps, giving a little hint-hint.

Ferus chuckled, "If it's not to your liking, there's several forms of alternative accommodation." My eyes followed as he gestured to the rack on the wall and a chain hanging from the ceiling. I narrowed my eyes slightly at the stains upon them, realizing a moment later it was blood. "Enough niceties: this is not where you are going to die. This is where you will learn to accept death. Willingly and with great anticipation. Much like the Glass Man did." Ferus said as he leaned back in the chair stretched, every knuckle simultaneously cracking as he did so; a grunt escaping out the mask as he lowered his arms.

My hands were gripping the chair by then, "Same routine, different tormentor." I mocked him lightly before leaning my head back against the chair. "Death is easy to accept but too easy to do. What you did to the Glass Man was vile; you only made him want to die to escape the pain. There's a difference, Ferus." I sneered; the Glass Man will always be a sore subject to me.

He busted out a laugh. It was raspy in the sense of a hiss but boomed like a bark of laughter, the combination was odd but nonetheless fitting for this man. It eventually died down to coughing; he turned away from me and lifted his mask to put a cloth to it. He turned back to me with the mask down and the cloth was coated with fresh blood, it only sparked my curiosity but I resigned myself to remain alert and observant. His head cocked at me as he spoke, "You know, I like you, Shady. You see right through people. It's a real shame I'm not the one that's going to kill you. That would have been five kinds of fun." Ferus began to laugh again but stopped himself early on.

I could only smile, forcefully, and probably borderline sickening at that point. "And why aren't you going to be the one that attempts to kill me?" I asked, now interested in what this could possibly mean. More information I had the better advantage I could get on how to survive.

"You see, I'm under contract right now. When I posted my little list up, not everyone was too happy about it. One of them was our mutual friend, the Executor. Now I don't pretend to understand what he's got planned, but he assured me it would involve your death. You see, he gets what he wants to do, I get to cross you off my list, and everyone walks away happy." I scowled and he paused before adding, "Nevermind."

"Executor." I seethed; I could feel my arms beginning to tremble and snapped myself back. Relaxing in the chair, the switch was flipped off. The Caged One could seethe all she likes; I needed to stay in control. I looked to the straps holding my wrists in place and chuckled spitefully at the situation. "Lovely. So you get to play with this sack of meant while he gets what he wants. Should have seen this coming." I tilted my head to the side curiously, "How long we got to play before you make the delivery, Ferus?"

He too cocked his head to the side, "Smart girl... I'm thinking I'll play that one by ear. If I give you to him too soon, well, where's the fun in that? But if I give you to him too late, you might not be in the right condition for what he wants. There has to be a certain level of trust between professionals, Shady. Quick question: waterboarding or cutting?" Ferus asked as he scratched his arm, the result was dead skin falling.

I ignored it, human anatomy and the likes really don't faze me anymore. It makes for a nice observation, some notes to stash away mentally about my friend here. It frustrated me to not have a date, though, made escape methods that much more difficult. Rather than fretting over it I shrugged, had to keep focus on him. "Waterboarding is so unoriginal, Ferus. No creativity with it. Use the damn blade and cut me some pretty pictures. Least I'll be walking away with a memento." I replied with snarkily, nothing like black humor. Either way it wasn't like I was a novice to the methods, thanks to my time with the Executor.

"Waterboarding it is!" He said as he moved to the wardrobe. I sighed inwardly, predictable enough. Waterboarding would exhaust my body but it wouldn't last as much as cutting would. It was good he picked the opposite this early on. I snickered slightly before turning my attention back to the chair. His back was turned, my time to examine my situation more thoroughly. I jerked and twisted my arm, testing the straps before leaning forward and examining all I could of the chair. My knife was gone; I could feel as much when I woke up. Its place in my pocket no longer there. I looked at my front pocket and saw the pocket knife was gone too. Jolly good. Rather than wasting energy I relaxed back into the chair and scanned the room. Could only bide my time for now so I watched Ferus, hoping to gain more information on him and his ways. As he opened the door I could see the dead body that resided in there, nothing distinguishing aside from cuts and missing body parts. It wasn't all that decayed, few days, still relatively fresh. I watched him rummage around, moving various knives that I could only imagine what they were used for. Bones as well, I was really not surprised after seeing the body stuffed in there. And then there was a case that looked to be made of jade.

I frowned at the box before looking around the room more thoroughly. There was a desk directly behind Ferus, chair included. On it was a laptop; I went ahead and assumed it was probably the Glass Man's. Leaning forward some I recognized what was up on it by the layout alone, Elaine's blog. I felt a rush of concern before swallowing it, the need to defend Elaine's safety rising. I wasn't going to make mention of it, I bit my tongue and looked at the large notepad next to the laptop and a neat binder full of papers. I sat up as high as I could to make out the label on the binder, which read "TYPER".

I twisted in the chair to look around further; there was a mini-fridge in the room as well as a closet door. I could also see the door to the room we were in was open, outside of it was a hallway but I couldn't be sure at the time what else was out there. The small window gave away where we were, a basement. So I felt right at home, naturally.

Ferus turned around from the wardrobe with a bucket and a case of bottled water. "Heh heh... This reminds me of the last time. The look on his face as he watched the screen: priceless. He wanted you to answer, you know. And guess what he got: Victor's apocalyptic prose and, about an hour too late for it to be of importance, Spencer's empty support. How does that make you feel?" He spoke while emptying bottles of water into the bucket.

He cut me, deeply, figuratively, with that one. I wanted to scream bloody murder at him but I didn't. I bit my tongue until I could taste the blood. Out of my entire time spent with him that is what hurt the most. I held the usual indifferent expression, rather proud of myself afterwards that I was able to. But my body language was frozen, stiffened, which no doubt gave away the sting that came with his words. "I'm not going to say what you can so obviously guess at just to satisfy that little part of you, Ferus." I replied with calmly, watching as the water flowed into the bucket. I glanced back at the laptop for a moment before back at him, "You seem to know a lot about what he wanted, why did he hope for an answer from me?" I asked, mainly because I had to.

"A desperate mind asks for any kind of release. Physical, emotional... Well it doesn't matter; he's dead as a doorknob now. The good thing is, I'm still around, so consider it as being only a partial death on his part. The better half won out. Ryan Barret lives on." He paused at emptying the last water bottle, he lifted his mask instead. I could make out a face covered by burns and a mouth scarred over so much it barely would be recognized as one. I wanted to inquire but didn't, rather content (as much as one could be in that situation) to just listen and watch him. When he was halfway through the bottle he stopped and lifted it a bit in a silent offer. I gave a half nod at the offer, anything to keep my body healthy during my time spent with him. He made his way over, "Good move, I'd hate to have you die before your time." Ferus said right before jamming the bottle of water into my mouth. His other hand tangled in my hair, grabbing a chunk as he ripped my head back. I gripped the chair as pain shot through my scalp; the action came as a surprise which resulted in only a fraction of the water to be swallowed. The rest was coughed up, painfully.

I looked away coughing as he moved towards the bucket. My self-control taking over as I forced my muscles to relax once more. I glared at Ferus, scowling at his form.

"Now it's time." He said as he pulled out the bloody cloth he used earlier and soaked it in the bucket of water.

"Do your worst."

And he did. I fought it until eventually passing out from lack of oxygen. Woke up in a closet and well... I wasn't alone.

When I woke up the next... Whatever, I found the closet door was covered in barbed wire. It was latched shut from the outside, so there went one plan, shot right out the ass. It was dimly lit, the door had a lattice that shined in some light but that was about it. I could hear Ferus shuffling around outside but he was quiet, oddly. I felt around and found a light switch above me, yanking it I come to see just what I was bumping into. A dead body, that of a doctor stabbed through his white coat. Only one stab, considering what I've come to notice of Ferus he overkills everyone. This was an odd thing to find, and once more the man quirked my curiosity. I looked at the few pieces of clothing in the closet and pushed it away for more room. I kneeled down next to the body and patted around for anything useful, but no. Nothing, which just was super. Such was predicted; I pulled from the body and looked at the door, calling out to Ferus with some annoyance. Mainly wanting to hear his reaction, his attitude today was making me more alert.

"...Yes?" Ferus replied but it wasn't his usual gruff sing-song tone I've noticed I was already used to. It was somber. I squinted through the lattice and found him looking at the binder labeled "TYPER".

I withheld questioning the binder and instead pulled away from the door. I pulled off my shirt wrapped it around my hand to protect it. Grabbing the barbed wire I tugged at it and pulled it down, clearing an area. "Why so quiet, Ferus?" I asked him idly.

"If I spoke all fucking day I'd likely be mute by now." I hummed quietly to myself, that would have been nice. "Do you actually have a question, or are you already anxious for round two?" His tone was threatening and slightly slurred, was he drinking? I frowned knowing it could be more dangerous than yesterday if so. He wasn't amused in the least right now.

"Pretty legit question considering that kicked puppy look on your face." I retorted dryly, my shoe keeping the barbed wire pinned down. I secured the shirt around my hand before lining up my body and punching the door as hard I could. First one dented it inwards, second hit made an actual hole I could see more out of it. "And I guess that answers the other half of your question. Going to let me out or am I going to have to keep breaking this shit?" Why tempt the beast? Because I wasn't going to dance around it nor was I going to spend the whole day or night (whatever time it fucking was) being subjected to worse torture because of his mood. I'd rather him just explode and get it over with than have it dragged out.

But he did something unexpected. He went rigid where he sat before pulling himself to a stand and walking over. Ferus leaned down to look me in the eyes right before he pulled off his mask. I didn't know what to expect, maybe something similar to what I saw earlier. I don't know what happened to him, if he was made this way, I don't know. But it's not alright. His skin was red, blistered and peeling off his face. It would have made Freddy Krueger weep softly into his pillow, no doubt (and I don't mean any offense by that). It looked painful which reflected on what I saw earlier, what I heard in Ferus's voice. Suffering. Blood was trickling from the corner of his mouth and his eyes (mismatched: one blue and one brown) intently stared into my own. Very few people can keep my gaze locked, he's one of the rare bunch that can. "Don't. Tempt. Me."

Ferus is the kind of guy anyone with common sense should be afraid of. Which is why I was damn well cautious with him, but it's not because he scares me in the usual sense. It isn't his behavior or his personality, barely even his actions. It's what he is capable of doing, what his mind conjures up that keeps me on my toes. It's why I did everything I could in my stay to gain information, to get an advantage, and why I did what I could do disarm situations. I tempted fate (if such a thing exists) by testing him, by poking his cage. But it's a learning process; I'll take all I can despite the pain. Curiosity. I took an interest in his story as I still do now.

It's why I didn't reel back with disgust, look away, scream. I held his gaze after looking over what I could see out of the hole. At this point it was curiosity, perhaps the first fragments of respect, which kept me from just dropping everything. I wasn't going to allow his nature to bind emotions useless to this situation; I slammed my hand flat against the door. "It's what I do best."

He continued staring back at me for a few seconds; I glanced down to the blood as it finally seeped onto his shirt. No doubt that was going to stain. "Questions. You get three."

I narrowed my eyes before pulling away from the door and unraveling the shirt from my hand. "Most obvious then. Physical condition, what of it?" I asked while slipping back on the torn shirt. Thanks barbed wire.

"I'm dying. Slowly. Next."

"What's killing you?"

"Existence. Do I look like I'm made to last?"

I looked out of the hole and glanced him over, "Presently? No, not really. But you were made, so that counts as something." I shrugged lightly, "Do you want to live?"

I got a bigger reaction that time, he grinned. I could see his teeth were all human canines then; however Ferus ended up this way... I mean, fuck. 'Do I look like I'm made to last?' made? It explained plenty. The strain of the grin alone cracked his skin which only furthered the bleeding. "Yes."

My gaze never left him, doing all I could to understand the man on the other side of the door. I had plenty to ask but no more slots open. I concluded, "Very well. That's my three." And they told me enough, for now.

"Good, now shut the fuck up or I'll cut you." He stood back up and gave the door a kick before wandering back over to the desk. I spent the rest of that day (?) just watching him through the hole I made. So... I was crammed in a closet with a dead body, whatever. I wasn't being tortured just yet and had a nice view of the room, as well as Ferus himself. I was content for the moment just observing.

I fell asleep at some point; I'm guessing I was able to sleep a chunk of the night away. Goodie. My snooze was cut off when I felt a jet of freezing cold water against my skin. Yea, that woke me the fuck up. That dick used a hose through the hole I made. I looked down at myself before back up at him with a glare.

"Every sword has two edges, Shady. Rise and shine." He was wearing his mask once more. I'm was tempted to ask him why, make mention his face doesn't bother me in the least, but I didn’t. His own opinion of himself weighs more heavily than that of a temporary victim.

I curled my finger under the sleeve of my shirt and watched it fall, sticking back against my skin, before looking back at him. "You know, Ferus, wet t-shirt contests are only fun when OTHER ladies are involved. Just saying." I grumbled while pulling myself up to wring out the hem of the shirt.

"Don't flatter yourself. Now we are going to be doing unpleasant things. How unpleasant they will be really depends on how willing you are to experience them." He paused; I felt a smirk forming on my lips with some amusement. "Once again, don't flatter yourself. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to sit in the chair without me having to whack you in the head."

I laughed to myself quietly, "Someone can't take a joke." I sang quietly while sliding next to the door and giving it a few light taps. "It's a reasonable thing. I think I can manage that."

"Perfect. I'd hate to give you a concussion. That would cut things tragically short. My, what I'd do for an extra day with the Glass Man..." When he opened the door I noticed the bloody cricket bat in his hand.

I wasn't even going to touch the Glass Man topic. No one was aware of how sore of a subject that is for me, not even Mystery. Least not verbally. It was one of those things I kept pent up. Another ship within the bottle, as my grandfather would say. He enjoyed what he did, that violence towards the Glass Man. I figured disarming the subject might be best, he didn’t seem to further it. Goodie.  I left the closet, glowering as I did so. My eyes followed his motion to the chair and as I walked I noticed the jade box once more, this time it was on the desk. I recalled him mentioning it on his blog. Sitting down I inquired about it, "So you got Executor to be your errand boy for that box, eh?"

"As I said, there has to be trust between professionals. On the plus side, we won't be needing it today. It'll just get in the way of things." He casually moved to the case before removing the lid. My head immediately felt sore, the beginnings of an oncoming migraine. The Caged One I could feel is displeased, she kept attempting to push out whatever Ferus's artifact was emitting. I felt layers form but they were pierced with ease. Whatever this was interested me, despite how much I was disliking what it was doing to my body. Ferus even recoiled from it as first before pulling out the object.

It was the size of a cubic toaster, fully black without an inch to spare. It looked like polished obsidian, I couldn’t be sure. My nerd level with that sort of thing is regrettably low. The only exception against the black was a red flaw in the center of one of its sides. The moment I looked at it I saw His symbol, or an Eye, I can't be sure. It seemed like it was morphing, or perhaps playing with my sight through my head. I can't be sure, I did not like it.

"We're going to do a little test today, Shady. It shouldn't kill you, unless it's more selective than I thought it was... I need you, Shady, to stare into its Eye." Ferus said as he turned the box to face me.

I looked away from it, leaning further into the chair, my hands gripping at the arms of it. I tried to collect my own mind; the Caged One was hard to focus on. It felt like she was disoriented, seething, when I looked at her all I could see was her image standing still but yet not at all. In constant motion while in place, she looked less like a child and more like the ghost of one. "And what is this test supposed to prove?" I glanced at the object a few times, trying to get a clear image of it while trying not to gaze too long.

"We're going to be testing this baby's abilities as a black box. We're going to see how well it works at recording... Little moments. Now stare into the Eye, or I'll bring it close. Then it won't matter."

I clenched my jaw while looking at the wall. Caged One, stay strong for me. We have to do this, the alternative is surely worse.

"The sooner this is over with the sooner we can crush our enemy." She hissed.

I looked away from the wall and at Ferus, just a moment before down at the box. A firm scowl set on my face as I did so.

The moment I looked into the Eye everything changed. Pain intensified, I felt as if my skull was on fire. I could hear the Caged One's uproar of screaming the moment that hit. I felt my body squirming in the chair as an explosion of pain ran through my body, and then whiteness. The Caged One left my mind's eye, we were separated. My nails dug into the arms of the chair as I screamed, but it wasn't my voice coming out. It was no longer me; I was looking through the eyes of another. Stuck, moving in sync with them. It was a house, unfamiliar to me. There were four other people, a family, and they were looking directly upon the one I was within. The man with burned skin. The perspectives kept changing, it was chaotic but the message between every perspective was the same: suffering.

The mother was the first. He crucified her to the wall with a nail gun. I could feel every single nail as it pierced her flesh, as I was stuck in her perspective. His metal mask stared coldly back at her, and I could only stare into it as each nail tore through her fragile body. Until nothing was left within the perspective to go on. The father was next, his the longest. Hands clawing through flesh, carving out a hole to get to the organs within the body. No weapon, no nothing. Just bare hands ripping out entrails from his form. It was agonizingly long, which was the worst part of it. The eldest son came afterwards; every limb was broken by a hammer or boot. Entire bones shattered in mere moments before he was forced to suffocate on the heel of the burned man's boot. And then came the youngest, the last member left. A little girl, thrown into her perspective I can feel her unable to comprehend just what is happening to her family. She doesn't understand, all she knows is it's awful and she's scared. That her family won't respond, they can't hear her anymore and she's scared. So alone. From the farthest depths of my mind I can hear the Caged One pierce through the vision I was stuck within, she's screaming but it fades to nothing. The little girl stands upon the foot stool as the man secures a rope around her neck, and then kicks the stool out from underneath her. It's too short to break her neck. She's writhing in the air, crying. Her body is wracking with panic, and the fear... She's going to die; she can feel her own life slipping away as she suffocates.

The perspective returns to the original, to the burned man. Once there is nothing left to witness, when all are dead and gone. He's in so much pain, his mind won't stop screaming. And I know this feeling, but it's so much worse. Everything hurts, there is nothing but pain. Just... Pain, so much fucking pain. It won't stop, it won't just turn off! Every heartbeat, movement, flex of the finger or twitch of a muscle. He blinks his eyes, breaking from staring at the scene he's created. It hurts to do so. The smallest thing causes pain.

This is Ferus. It's his hell.

The box was put away and I was snapped back into reality. My head is filled with screaming immediately, the Caged One is on the floor of my mind writhing, crying. My childhood self, weeping about not wanting to see it again. Finally the sound of my own labored breathes is heard, I could see Ferus putting away the box, as he stands to look back at me. My focus is off; I'm gripping the chair so tightly my hands have become sore. But I pulled myself to a stand, the chair falling over in the process as I walked away from him. "What the fuck, Ferus?" I coughed out, trying to calm my body. The Caged One freaking the fuck out wasn't helping, her wailing felt like I had lodged a banshee within my skull. I stand on the opposite side of the room, pushing the hair out of my face to glare at him. "What the hell is that thing? What was the purpose of testing that?"

"No purpose. None at all. I believe that's how life works! The good thing is, now you have just a teensy little bit of UNDERSTANDING." Ferus barely finished as he started laughing uncontrollably. Blood began seeping out the bottom of his mask, more than I've ever seen. It was alarming, I was about to say something when he spoke up, still laughing; "Now you know, Shady! Now you know! You know, Shady! You KNOW!" Ferus hunched slightly from the pain his own laughter is causing him.

I leaned my shoulder into the wall to keep upright, body slowly working to come down from its panicked state. Emotions jumbled, body physically hysterical from stress, mentally the Caged One was suffering more. Because of that I had to keep a grip. I grabbed a hole near the hem of my shirt and tore off a portion of it, looking back at his laughing form I slid my way against the wall to him. "Is that all there is to you, every day and every night, Ferus?" I questioned, stopping across from him. "Is that what you go through all the goddamn time?" I tossed the piece of cloth at him, dare I say concerned for the amount of blood spewing from his mask.

He giggled to himself, catching the fabric and chucking right back. I caught it lazily and held it at my side. Ferus tore off his mask, breaking one of the straps in the process. I became alarmed at the amount of blood coming from his face. It's no longer just out his mouth, now it's his nose and eyes as well. And he's grinning even through it which only heightens my alarm. "It's not just that, it's also the knowledge that there is NOTHING LEFT FOR ME. Everything I ever could have wanted, could have done or could have been died the moment I decided to watch some creepy goddamn videos. There is nothing left for me. There is nothing left TO me." His voice is raspy, he spits out a glob of blood onto the floor. "Pain is everything now. Pain and hate, and there is no. Way. To change it."

The cloth in my hand is the only barrier I have from piercing my own flesh, sadly that's only with the one hand. My fists were clenched so tightly the skin was pierced. I pushed off the wall at what he said, "That's ridiculous and you know it." I hissed, motioning to him. "This, all of THIS can be fixed. That box just transferred little moment of you to me. There are objects, creatures, and a lot of fucked up shit out there that could help. There is that POSSIBILITY. You just have to keep looking. Have to narrow it down and find it." I had to reach behind me to the wall for support, my head beginning to spin without it. "You can't live this way. It's not right to everyone else that has to suffer because you're suffering, which to begin with isn't right either, Ferus."

By the time his name left my lips he was on me, his hands wrapping around my throat. My arm behind me fell against the force of his lunge, I hit the wall painfully. My hands were on his arms but I wasn't going to squirm, I listened as he yelled at me. The exact pent up explosion that needed to be released. "Are so. Fucking. NAIVE! To think that I deserve help. I deserve NOTHING! I want NOTHING! I killed them. I killed them ALL! And I LIKED IT! I STILL LIKE IT! And if I don't kill for Him, I will kill EVERYONE. EVERY LAST GODDAMN PERSON ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH! AND I WILL LIKE IT! I WILL ENJOY EVERY DROP OF BLOOD, EVERY SCREAM OF A CHILD, EVERY CONTORTION, CONTUSION, CONCUSSION AND TEAR! AND THERE WILL BE NO END TO THEIR SUFFERING! I WILL MAKE SURE OF IT!" He screamed, letting me go roughly. "GET THE FUCK BACK IN THE CLOSET, YOU BITCH!"

I wrapped a hand around my throat and gazed up at him, clearing it quietly and straightening at his order. "Everyone deserves help, Ferus. Those that think otherwise are the ones that know what they have done wrong, despite what they feel towards it." I told him shortly before stepping around him and walking into the closet. I leaned back into the wall, massaging my neck softly a moment before my arms folded. I started through the opening of the door as he stormed over and grabbed it.

"Fuck you, Shady." He slammed the door shut.

I barely slept that night. I quietly searched the closet instead, when I felt up for it. I looked over the body some more and found a piece of metal sticking out of the doctor's wound. Ferus's footsteps fast approached the door and I skidded back to my spot in the corner. He kicked the door, "Rise and shine, Shady. Today's the day we have some REAL fun!"

I glanced back at the body before looking at the door; I'd dig it out later. For now it was just a slim chance of hope I had to hold onto. "Morning, honey. Did you sleep well?" I cooed moving into the line of sight of the hole.

"Like a baby." No sarcasm, I shrugged it off. He opened the door, cricket bat once more in his hand. I look at the usual spot and see there is was a chair beneath a chain hanging from the ceiling.

I walked over to the set-up, head tilted. I'm well informed on torture methods and this set-up wasn't all that hard to guess. Just what he was planning to do was now the real question. I looked back at him," What's on today’s agenda?"

"We're going a more traditional route today. Stand on the chair, lift your arms and hold still."

That was a whole lot of nothing. "Goodie." Dryly left my lips as I complied, watching him carefully.

He put down the cricket bat and began to tie my wrists with the chain, humming quietly to himself a tune I wasn't familiar with. Perhaps that was one of the pleasant tokens of being tortured by Ferus, the music or humming. Nice distraction. "Now Shady, if at any moment you feel I might be damaging you internally, please ask me to stop. That would be unfortunate for both of us."

"So unfortunate." I muttered sarcastically. "It's not my ass on the line if I get delivered horribly damaged, Ferus."

"No, but it IS your ass on the line if you DO get horribly damaged." He chuckled before tugging the chain and testing the knot. I grumbled under my breathe. "Alrighty." Ferus kicked the chair out from underneath me. Pain shot through my arms, both of which were still healing after Thuggee and the away trip. He walked away for a moment to an iPod player that wasn't there yesterday. Like I said, one pleasant token about being tortured by Ferus: the music. Why? It helps distract you from the sound of your own sack of meat being beaten. You don't have to hear every single noise that comes out of your mouth or your tormentor's, or hear every drip of YOUR blood that hits the floor.

When the song began I looked at him, "Really?" It was all too fitting. Rammstein-Wei├čes Fleisch. I tried to adjust my arms to soothe the soreness already forming; it became the least of my worries when he raised the cricket back. It seemed like an endless beating, he began hitting bruises which was worse. It felt like I grounded my teeth to dust by the end of it. He pulls back, looking contemplative. I sucked in some air, coughing as I choked on air. I used this time to stop my body from shuddering, regaining its composure slightly. It didn't stop the faint trembling now and then from my tiring form. I looked at him, watching his body language for anything that could give me insight into his mind. "I just realized I haven't eaten in over a day. Hang on." Ferus said as he went over to the mini-fridge and pulled out an apple. He sat himself in front of me on the chair and ate the apple beneath his mask.

I shot him a glare as I dangled, the tips of my shoes brushing against the floor. I felt like a ballerina. I looked away at the wall, wriggling my bound wrists, looking for any loopholes in his knot. I knew better, though.

"Nothing to say?" He asked, still gnawing on his apple. "Really, NOW you find yourself at a loss for words? Nothing? Nothing at all?"

I hummed quietly, my lips quirking upwards barely as I look back at him. "Not at a loss, deary." I chimed with some bitterness, despite the expression. "Something you WANT me to say, Ferus?"

"Hrm... Not particularly." He pulled out a box cutter from his pocket and slid out the blade. "It just seems a bit strange that you're not still making humorous jabs. Maybe I've broken your spirit?" Ferus gave the box cutters a twirl.

I glanced at the tool in his hand before back up at his mask. "Hardly. I've been with you only how long? Don't credit me so little." I chuckled barely with a tilt of my head. "If you miss my humorous jabs you can just say so. No one has to know." Ah, hello sweet mockery.

He threw the apple at my face, I turned my head away but it still hit my cheek. He paused, "Hm, my aim's better than I remember... Guess what Shady: you are completely and totally FUCKED." He approached me with the box cutter.

I lifted my chin, ready to take whatever the hell he wanted to deliver. "I know." Was my only reply to him.

"Good." Ferus circled around me, the box cutter making shallow cuts on my torso that stung at first. Until he began cutting over others, which began to heighten the pain further. My bruised body made it worse, tender flesh already sore to the touch. Every slice made it all the worse. He hummed along to the music that still blasted out the speakers. He stopped after... I lost count, several dozen, maybe more? Looking down at myself now there are just so many cuts. Most of them will and have already scarred over. When he finished he grabbed hold of my chin, "We're not quite done yet. The Executor has his own plans for you, and if any bit is left of you to walk around afterwards, I want him, and whoever sees you, to remember how you got to where you are." He cut lightly down my cheek, but that wasn't what he was leaving as a reminder. It was light, not even worthy to scar. No. He was just getting his point across. Ferus took my hand and carved into the back of it a symbol, it looks like a cross between the Operator symbol and the infinity symbol. Fucking narcissist.

I flinched at him slicing open my cheek. But the hand... It was made to last. He carved like a goddamn champ. No, but really Ferus, thank you for allowing me to still be able to use it. You're so generous. I had to force my body into submission for that one, it flinched and it twitched, fucking-a did it want to just writhe. But moving would have caused more damaged, and again I have trouble giving people what they want. I bit my lip till it split open and bled. Swallowing the best I could any and every sound that wanted to escape.

When he stood back he gazed between my cheek and my bleeding hand, "Mighty fine work, if I do say so myself.” Ferus chuckled as he undid the chain. I simply hit the floor, my legs barely catching me. My arms assisted at least. I kneeled, pulling myself up. I smudged away the blood on my cheek with my other hand, looking up at him with a glare. "Closet. Now."

I did what I could to stand up straight, to shrug off his brutality of the day. I headed into the closet and leaned on the wall, watching as he came over and kicked shut the door.

I didn't sleep immediately, I should have. But I was worried if I did I would have passed the fuck out without time to do what was needed. I managed to dig out what was in the doctor's chest. A scalpel. I found myself grinning like a moron over it.

When morning came I was woken up by Ferus shouting from across the room, "Wake up, Shady! It's show time! The Executor is expecting us!"

I slipped the scalpel away carefully from peering eyes, cracking my neck as I moved to look through the hole in the door. "Such a pity, here we got to know so much about one another. Thought we could be friends." I retorted dryly with a yawn.

"Funny thing is, I actually want you MORE dead now. Well, we can't expect to agree on everything..." I mused at his sarcasm, it was humorous. A nice change. The door opened and I looked up at him, waiting to learn how this was going to be done. "Now I'm going to need a minute or two, and if you try anything you're going to be having to take another trip while unconscious, comprende?"

I grinned sliding forward a bit, "Going to leave me here all by my lonesome some more, Ferus?" Fake sadness coated every word but I perked right on up, "Don't worry, I'll be right here waiting for ya. We got to give our goodbye hugs." I sarcastically said, matching his own as I left the closet.

"Did I say I was leaving? Pfffft... Hardly. No, I just... Need a moment to concentrate..." Ferus's voice faded, I look at him and he's stiff, staring forward.

I walk around the room briefly for a few seconds, seeing if my shuffling will do anything. If that was just some sick trap of his to lure me into. But no, it was not. I walked around behind him, slipping out the scalpel from its hiding spot. I went over the back of his body, which is much bigger than my own. Size difference alone... Fuck, I'd have to make that strike count. His legs would do, painful to give chase on, with teleporting that would be a bitch too when it came to landing/reappearing. If I could get him down, even better! I twirled the scalpel twice as I eased myself down. And then, grabbing tightly to the tool, I lunged forward and sank the scalpel into the back of his leg. Purposely dodging the major vein and only aiming to damage the muscle. All my weight was thrown into that attack; I stabbed him and pushed up into his back. Like a goddamn football player, bitches. It isn’t all in the legs.

It worked; he fell to his side as I dodged around him. Not even looking to see, door first. And guess what? It was unlocked. "Bye, my precious!" I called; slamming shut the door behind me and running.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" I could hear echo after me, he didn’t give chase. Probably tending to the bleeding. I passed by a room of just bodies, they were all tortured. I didn't need to even go into the room to see that. They were brutally and viciously tortured. If Ferus didn't need to deliver me, if Executor didn't need to do whatever it is he aims to do, I might just have been in that pile already.

I ran up the stairs and out the door, into the house I came to recognize it as the one from the vision. The corpses of the family he had murdered are still in the same positions, rotting. Pain surfaced within my head at the reminder, and then he came to mind. I looked back down the stairs; I just caused him further pain when he was already suffering to begin with. Despite it being necessary to survive it didn't stop the fact I felt wrong for doing such. There are very few codes I live by and I just broke one of them. Some days I really do loathe you, blondie. "Sorry, Ferus." For whatever it was worth I yelled it down the stairs, Road Runner hasn't made me a murderer yet. I turned back to the house and darted through it, finding the front door and exiting.

I ran, heading for the nearest town. The nearest anything. I kept off the road, into the woods but using it to follow from a distance. Ferus didn't give up easily, I had to take cover and fall silent every now and then, a tree would go up in flames signaling he was teleporting all over the damn place looking still. I bolted when he seemed to change locations and just ran. I continued running, the Caged One screaming in my head to get the hell away from there.

I spent a couple days on my own before the Advocate offered his help. I was hesitant to take it, but with Executor flooding the area with clones, proxies, and unleashing Prosper... I accepted. I could only hope whatever obsession he has with me would be enough to get my ass to safety, and for him not to kill me. Of course he didn't just take me home, brought me to his home instead. After the driving I was glad to just get out of his van. He's been really creepy, but that was predictable. What wasn't was how, er, great (?) he's actually being. Very helpful. Yea... Creepers gonna creep, they never said HOW they were going to, though. I've had time to write this out since he likes to disappear to do some things, so chilling in the basement and all has given me plenty of time. But hell, the patchwork on my wounds are fantastic. Fucks sake, he's a goddamn wizard with needles.

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving, if you can even call it one. The Advocate mentioned us having plans... I'm sort of concerned now. Still alive and, well, relatively safe. I can't say much for the party he's hosting. I don't know what to expect since it seems like some people I know are attending. He's trying to keep me from knowing who exactly is going.

Anyways, that's what happened. I think something is seriously wrong with my head. To remember things so vividly... I questioned the Caged One but she turned her back on me and wouldn't answer. I think my brain is flipping around. It's... I can't even, something is changing. I don't know why or how, I shouldn't be able to memorize and process like this. Unless I could before the head problems? I don't know. But that’s what happened. And Ferus, I know you said I better not but I did. If this bothers you I’m sorry, but I’m hoping it can help. Because maybe now someone will read this, and maybe they’ll know a way to help you. I don’t care what you say, what you screamed at me. That you don’t deserve it, don’t want it, etc. Go ahead, look at yourself and tell me you don’t need it. And I’m not just talking about your appearance; I’m talking about what you’re going through as a whole.
Hate me; want me dead, you can feel that way all you want. But if I can avoid it I will do what I can to not add to your suffering, even after what you did to the Glass Man, and how much I would just love… Heh… What you did to me, I don’t really even care for it. I'm used to it, the pain, the hate, the everything. It stopped bothering me a long time ago.
Ferus. I don’t hate you. I’m royally pissed, but I don’t hate you. So don’t make me.

You know…
Once upon a time I had a very close friend, this blonde, she was so cheery it nearly made me vomit, even as a child. But her sincerity and heart was big. Called her Smiles for that’s all she really was. She said to me, one time long ago; when we were just barely even teenagers, “The world came first. The people came second. We damn the world because we suffer, we expect much from the world because we are greedy. We dare to do what we are in no place to do; the world does not owe us a thing. We just owe each other, after all the suffering caused by our fellow man. It’s my code, you know. I don’t like people hurting. If someone is suffering you have to help them. Like a bully who recycles lessons learned from his parents. Chances are they are so far gone already they don’t even see a way to help themselves. So they don’t, and they damn themselves, then they damn everyone else, and then they damn the world. But the world was here first, it owes them nothing, so it does nothing. So we must do something.”
I told her she was too nice, that it would probably get her killed one day. She said she knew that already, that she wouldn’t regret a thing as long as it helped someone. And then she was gone a short time afterwards. The story came to a cliffhanger, it never ended.

Anyways, it’s also one of my codes, Ferus. You don’t make those already suffering suffer further. You’ve done so much shit, all those bodies, all that blood is on your hands. HIS FUCKING BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS! But you know what? I still don’t hate you, so don’t make me. Don’t make me hate you. I only hate my enemies. I’ll be damned if you end up as my enemy so easily. You can spew your hatred here, or in my face if we meet again. You can go ahead and snap some bones, carve this flesh. I don’t care.
I’m not pitying you, not giving you any goddamn sympathy; I don’t do that to people I’ve given my respect to (no matter the amount I’ve given).
Pain and hatred, it’s not a means to an end, Ferus. Just remember that.

Executor, you can go suck a cock from one of Ferus's corpses. Ok? Heh, heh, asshole.

Sorry this post is so long, better than spamming with a million smaller ones.
Tell me, on a scale of 1-10 how much does your head hurt from reading all that with this super small font?
HA! Ain’t I just the bitch still.

Stay safe,

Don’t offer assistance to those that care not.
Not now, waste no time.
Focus on the enemy.
Lenore is coming and hell along with her.


  1. Hey Shady? You forgot your knife.
    I'm going to be putting it to good use now.

  2. I thought something felt off. Huh.
    I'm not going to bother asking what you mean by that, nor am I going to try and stop you.

    ...But I am so angry now just thinking my baby being manhandled and then used--Sigh. You frustrate me. Excuse me while I go rage.

  3. I'll take this into account whenever I face it. Versatility is what comes to mind. All purpose tools. Vicarious.

  4. So Ferus has that, too, heh look at that. You know, you are too kind, Shady, people with that much empathy don't usually appear that strong. You make the two look good together, so well done, I'm glad you're recovering. And don't worry about the fine print, that's what zooming in is for.

    See you around

  5. funny thought. your no bitch for the font, infact i think its like a litmus test; if somone is to stupid to care for the story because its "to long and to small a text" then they obviously arent worth your time. those that listen are.

    smart. very smart shady.
    i think you and i will get along just fine. that is, if the madness wills it.


  6. Gweithredwr, hoping is all most of us can do.

    OB|SERVE|ATION, Lenore is the name of a girl whose file I have. Not sure yet why the Caged One would leave such a message randomly. Not important as of now. Thank you, though. I've received some amusing little comments in regards to the font and what not. I've turned it into a nice joke, heh.
    Perhaps we will, only one way to find out, though. Pleasure meeting you, dear.

  7. Freedomcaged, thank you. That's very kind of you to say. I try, which is all I can really do. So I'm glad to hear that feedback, it's helpful and lets me know I'm keeping my word still.

    Stay safe, deary.

  8. The more I read these entries the more I wonder. Once we are touched by this side of the world are we doomed to forever be intwined with it? No matter who or what we conquer... There is always something else. The crawlers were just the first of my troubles weren't they?