Monday, November 14, 2011

I Did Something Stupid.

The Advocate offered to help and I... Agreed. I'm going to get so much shit from so many people, I know it.

I can't call MASC for help. I NEED them at our sanctuary. After the Thuggee and Proctor thing, what happened with DeMii, I need that place locked down to its fullest. Proctor gone, Mystery gone, and Mr. Sunshine can't act his age (literally, mentally) there aren't really any adults around. Drake and Ecko left, Lucas is gone, Trinity and Tim are children (smart as they are, Trinity has also been having issues with the voices last I was there) on top of which DeMii is still young technically as well she has a kid to handle. My options are limited.

Contacting a Runner or Fighter? I'm not stupid, that's too much of a risk. They have their own dealings and I'm not selfish enough to pull them from it. Also, having them help my limping ass will only expose them to more danger, from their enemies and my own. And we all know my enemies have a habit to latching onto anyone that crosses our path.

So it's stupid and it's reckless but it needs to be done. The Advocate is by far the most unpredictable person I have met. Last time we crossed it got me a chunk of the scars I have now. He's not an idiot, though, fucking clever as hell. Brilliant, even. The things he sets up or thinks, I mean. When it comes to choosing someone to slip past Executor (and now Prosper as well as whoever the hell else he's released after I read Prosper's post) he's definitely someone reliable. That comforts me slightly, until I actually have to get into his... Van, if he was serious about that. I have a feeling he is, he usually says things he means. Even if it's worded poorly...

Kind of hoping my shit condition will be enough to satisfy that itch for causing pain but if it doesn't I can't say I really give a fuck. If getting a lift home, being out of danger, etc, means sitting for some odd hours and being prodded by a needle I'll gladly take it.

We all damn well know by now pain isn't an issue, it can be adapted to. And my body is going numb anyways from all this stress and overworking it after it suffered Ferus's brutality. That numbness is assaulting my body from functioning properly, walking is more like stumbling, I've been using walls and trees to help walk but losing feeling at times means I don't even realize I'm touching the tree or wall until I look at it myself. It's becoming difficult.

I need the help. I'm not too proud or stubborn to admit it. I know this is risky and probably has to be the stupidest thing I've ever done (no offense, Advocate) but I'm going to die. You saw the last post, and that just before my body began taking a turn for the worse. I need to get away from here. It's fricking amazing no infections have sprouted from my wounds.

So he offered to help and I accepted. Now is the waiting game, I guess. Hiding around back of a gas station on a bench, going to wait here. Wait for him to track me.

I'll update once things are underway, I guess.
I mean, how bad can this all really be, right? I mean, I don't think he wants to kill me anymore. So... That's good, right? You know, not even going to think about it. Just going to wait.

Stay safe,


  1. Are everyone one of these damn "runners" or "fighters" so keen on ending their life so quickly? I've watched you grow, survive, endure and now you're running straight into the arms of a fucking man who tortured you.
    I thought you'd be smarter.

  2. Damn... That was quick. I thought I'd have a bit more time before people started yelling at me.

    Survival is an important thing. Evolution is based on surviving and adapting to the things around you. Advocate has so far survived, adapted, and evolved from doing so. Just as I have survived, adapted, and am evolving from my experiences. He tortured me, goodie. I handled it then, if he tries to pull that again he'll be severely disappointed considering there isn't much to work with this time around.

    "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" I'll use and abuse if necessary. If you'd like to debate further please, go ahead. I've got time while I wait.

  3. No shit Sherlock i would've never guessed survival or evolution was important.

    But are you all to sure this isn't another trap or has executor maddened your brain to the point of false trust?

    Judging by your blog posts i take it you don't like these slenderfucks that much do ya? Then what in the HELL would posses you to run right to one?

    If you've truly evolved, then i believe the theory of natural selection may play out soon. Since i see that your venturing right into the mouth of a fucking lion.

  4. Err...pardon my anger issues brother, he's a bit riled up tonight (sorry)

    Look BB, don't get all up the ass about someone else problems, we've got our own shit to deal with please calm down~?

    and Shady, REALLLYYY risky thing your doing but i trust that you have enough common sense to do whats right. Just don't get into really deep shit to the point of drowning because that's just downright nasty.

    i trust ya to do the right thing, UNLIKE SOME OTHER COMMENTERS ON THIS BLOG.

  5. Well the last time i check Varg you're getting yourself into some FUCKING STUPID SHIT YOURSELF. So you shouldn't even be talking, i have a damn right to be pissed at the both of y'all.

    I mean what kind of IDIOT goes back to their own demons?

  6. I never said I truly evolved, I said I'm still evolving via experiences as are you. On top of which when did I ever say I trusted Advocate, let alone anyone related to the Executor? I didn't, you're misreading and adding in false words to justify your own means. Or... You really are just reading the tidbits that seem to boost your point. Heh.

    I'm not going to pour out every detail to defend myself from you and the stick up your ass.

    Out of every proxy dealt with Advocate is one I'm capable of withstanding for a lengthy peroid of time. If I have to endure some rough patches so I can heal and get home safely so be it. But this just means Executor will have a harder time in not only locating me but getting me as well. Advocate is possessive enough that I can safely say our reunion will be a bitch to end. Though when time comes for separation on my own behalf this body will no doubt be in better condition.

    Also, every "slenderfuck" is different from the other. I cannot judge them all as a whole. They are their own individual self just as you are, they deserve to be treated as such and understood.

    If you have really been watching you'd know the answer to the "Executor setting up a trap" bit.


    Den, you're so adorable. It's alright, I understand. And I'll be careful, alright? You too. I saw your post while I was waiting for. Please be safe.

  7. @shady
    Psh, your too kind (as kind as you may be..)and you try to stay safe as well. 'Cause that's some pretty intense shit going on.

    Just look at yourself, making typos and misunderstanding everything.
    If you've truly read over her blog and not just skimmed over it in an angry huffy puffy rush then maybe you'd get a SMIDGE of an idea of what your arguing against.

    No, brute force doesn't always work my sweetheart of a brother. Especially not in words -.-'

  8. I think your brother needs to take a nap.

  9. @shady well looks like ill get to meet the girl in the flesh. wish it was under more positive conditions, but ya know, whatever works right?

    i know you know what your doing shady, im more worried about executor showing up to stop the party just so he can take you.

    then again, i doubt advocate will want who knows? maybe we'll live to see tommorow. you probably will.

    id just be happy to die in such an incredible way. ill try making it throught the night, but im kinda fucked.

    we'll see. ill see you at the party shady.

    wishing you luck,

  10. Unless Executor handed over something Advocate wanted more I doubt he'd give in so easily. He doesn't play by the rules usually like that.

    Ike, why are you even going to the party? Sigh.

    I can't keep replies up, guys. Advocate's driving is making me sick every time I try to focus on the cellphone. If they slow down just know that's why for now.

  11. @shity-
    If you could see me right now i'm faceplanting the fuck out of my keyboard at the amount of frustration YOU TO FUCKING CAUSE ME.

    Well. That felt good to get out of my system, back to the fucking point though.

    If your so knowledgeable on said "slenderfucks" then i will never cease to understand why in HELL you'd go to one..You people...arg..
    What if misunderstand them and turn on you? What if nothing was as it seems? THEN WHAT?
    (you would know if there's a stick up my ass >;P)
    You're straight out fucked that's what-


    @den MORONde varg
    shut the fuck up and don't call me sweetheart.

  12. "If your so knowledgeable on said "slenderfucks" then i will never cease to understand why in HELL you'd go to one.."

    That contradicts itself all in all. If I am so well informed on said "slenderfucks" than you should understand why I would go to one. Because I am so well informed.

    I've misunderstood, as people do with their friends or family members. It's natural, but it's a process you have to go through to try and understand someone. And Advocate, I understand him pretty damn well. I've redeemed a few proxies now, I've been turned on before they balanced back out. I've been turned on and tricked all in all, it's a learning process but one that brings forth experience.

    I'll gladly take whatever rough patches come forth.

    And yes, I did. And your desire to fuck everyone here won't help with falling asleep.
    Yes, I made a joke.

  13. @Shady
    Brb, singing him a lullaby on the phone.

    Tsk Tsk, look at you SWEETHEART. Losing your composure in front of everybody like that. Quite an embarrassment. I promise i won't totally spread this on face book if get off my ass about my wonderful plans.

    Really? Fuck everyone? That's disgusting considering i'm your sister and that seems quite a large task for someone with a small....package..

    Be honest, how much have you drank tonight?

  14. im going to the party because hacim gave advocate my fuckin address. im kindve fucked. unless i want my whole family dead, i dont get much of a choice here shady. unless you have a better plan, if so im all ears.

  15. Riiiight...

    You do that, deary. Let me know how it works out, and if you succeed avoiding incest or not. Maybe send him to a strip club or something after the nap? Let him work out his frustrations on his own.

    And why you know about his package I will not ask about.

    So... I'm going to look up now. I really don't enjoy taking my eyes off Advocate for obvious reasons (and not ones he'd like to believe)

  16. And Ike, there are better plans and I'll see if I can think up something while spending one on one time with dear Advocate here.

  17. @shity
    Life, is a giant fucking rough patch and it seems to me that you're letting it get to you.

    Wait, redeem a proxy? You're pretty fucking crazy lady. You really have a giant set of fucking balls on you that's for damn sure.


    Well it's none of your buissness how much i had to dranks, becasue it's NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUISNESS.
    don't call me sweetheart.

    ....idon't even has a facebook....dipshit.

    Goodnight and fuck all of you.

  18. nah, its ok umbra. i have a plan.
    my plan is decipre.

    dont focus on me umbra, focus on you. im not useful in the grand scheme of things. you are. there are people that need you.

    think quick umbra. and think for yourself.


  19. @shady
    Oh it's his normal pitiful routine, don't mind him. It seems to be he's off to his lair (FINALLY).

    Next time i see him i'll be sure to lock the liqueur cabinets..

    Dear self, Open mouth, insert foot.

  20. Well... I have lady parts. So balls don't really have a place to go...
    Unless you really do some fucked up mad scientist shit.
    And yes, I am disarming all your expressions with literal snark.

    When did I say I was letting it get to me? I think you're letting it get to you, seeing... Well, all this.

    "Well it's none of your buissness how much i had to dranks, becasue it's NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUISNESS."
    That translates to: YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.
    Heh. I think the first half of that sentence gives us a rough estimate.

    Vaaaaaarg, he keeps wanting to fuck everyone here. Tie him to the bed (not kinky style) and leave him till his balls stop itching. Or lock the door now that he has retreated.

    Replace all the liquor with soap.


    Ike, I'll be fine once my body heals up. Advocate is unpredictable in his thought pattern but I understand his personality and the likes to get a good grasp on him. Can handle it. Private message me if you need anything.

  21. will do shady. sorry, i forget to think that advocate is driving, so he probably doesnt have alot of time to focus on killing you atm.

    thanks, ill keep that in mind. i appreciate any help offered.

    oh, and tell our dearest chemistry student i said hello.

  22. If you have read anything you'd know his intentions aren't really to kill anymore. I wouldn't have asked for his assistance if that were the case.

    Will do, stay safe.

  23. I fail to check for a day and this is what I discover, I won't lecture you Shady, you made the best of a very bad situation. Good luck to everyone who can use it, I imagain that covers a fair number of you.

    See you around

  24. Accepting help from the Advocate... Well, I for one think that it’s the best thing to do in your situation.

    Good luck, Shady.

  25. Thank you, Freedom. Stay safe on your end too.


    Thanks, Skan. Good luck on your end too.

  26. eh, i know he doesnt intend to kill you. in my experience however, extensive torture on an already exstensivley tortured body leads to either death or near death,

    that just me though. he wants you to feel pain. i get that. i know hes good enought at what he does that he could spend hours on you without killing you.

    im just saying eventually he'll get bored. and when he wont be pretty


  27. I guess we'll just have to see then. I haven't entertained anyone in quite a while, see if these rusty skills are capable still.

  28. now you are free in all the ways that they are not
    free to choose
    free to evolve
    free to become.

    it will keep you safe.
    madness is no protection from me
    it knowss.
    summon me.
    i will obey.

  29. Hey Shady, maybe if we keep pushing we might get BB to explode.

    BB, where did you learn to write? Correction, DID you learn to write?

  30. Thank you, Victor. You're the first one I'll call.


    Someone is... Nicer. That's good. I think?

    That sounds like fun! As alarming as it is to witness someone (or multiple people) explode it's kind of amusing... I think this will be easy enough.

    Don't be too hard now, deary. You know, people can't practice writing if their pencil is jammed up their ass.

  31. no.

    i will show thee. i am among
    them now.

    my example will shine through.
    a path of blood to lead us home.

    i will not wait.

  32. ......well advocate. ill pray for you.

    cause if victor comes, every one who gets in his way is fucked.

    which is why ill be waaaaaaaaaaay in the corner.

    to victor, please make sure umbra doesnt die. she may not need help, im not sure in her condition, and im not gonna bug her on and on about shit. but i do know that pupa and mysteriume and trinitas still need her.

    oh, and dont worry about me. if i accidently step in front of you, feel free to just toss me into the air like a salad in a salad bowl.

  33. Ha ha ha ho ho ho he he he.

    This page is comedy genius... Jeez Shady my Lady, this was how you were spending your time on the ride? Sheesh.

    Oh my dear lovely dinosaurs, you sick twisted students... Torturing my beloved would be so predictable <3 No, I think I'm going to shake things up a bit. Hehehe

    Victor, don't be an attention hog! You can have Shady next month! Hehehe

  34. Well, I was TRYING to distract myself from your driving... It didn't work, I felt worse looking at the screen than I did at the road. Bleh.

    Torturing like the last time is thankfully not being done. Doesn't stop him from dicking around with sharp objects, though.

  35. You're all crazy, but I don't mind it. Go on.

  36. If you need professional help, don't hesitate to drop me a line.

  37. Gweithredwr, if you're here you no doubt have a bit of crazy in you as well, deary.


    Thank you. You are definitely at the top also to call, after our last encounter.