Saturday, November 12, 2011


There's so much blood. Why is there so much blood? Where did it come from? Is it all from the same person? It can't be. Humans don't have this much blood in them. Does that mean they are dead? Who is they? Who is dead? Are they dead? Am I dead? No. I'm writing this now.


Am I awake?

He's so close now. Fucking Ferus. Fucking torture. Fucking mindfuckery bullshit. My body, it's starting to numb. I thought it might be useful, it's not. I can't feel myself stumbling or when I cut open my arm when running through the woods. I can't feel. I'm so tired. I don't want to run. I'm not a Runner. I'm a Fighter. I can't fight.. Not like this.

He knows, he knows it. He thrashed me last night mentally. I couldn't fight back, I couldn't. I'm so tired in every single way. There's so little that keeps me from not giving a fuck anymore.

Last night was bad. I couldn't tell the difference. I haven't been sleeping much. I can't stay asleep. My mind wakes up. Caged One thinks it's dangerous. I need it, I keep blacking out and waking up in worse condition. She's going to kill me if I don't sleep. I had to sleep. My body shut down. Executor was waiting, he found me.


I couldn't tell the difference. Was I awake or still asleep? What was real and what was fake? I have to get home.

I have to vent. I have to or it will just get all pent up and that will make him find me faster. My mind, it doesn't shut up. Ever. It just doesn't stop... It doesn't. That's how he keeps finding me when I fall asleep. Every time I do he's there, he grabs my head by one hand and throws me into a tree. I wake back up and crawl to a stand to keep walking. Because I can't sleep. But I need to or I'm going to black out again. And then it's hours of glory for him, it's more time for him to try and hack into my brain as I try to defend my location.

He doesn't stop. He might be here now. Am I awake? I hope so. I can't tell anymore. I'm so tired and there's just... Just so much fucking blood. Maybe I'm dreaming. Maybe I'm talking into this phone and he's just listening on the other end.

I think I'm dreaming.
What does that mean?

And why is there so much blood?


  1. You're awake right now, my dear lady. Generally, I find that you cannot read words in dreams, so try using that as a litmus test against the two-bit Freddy Krueger you face.

    As for where all the blood came from...perhaps it's just ketchup?

  2. i was hoping id return to atleast less negativity.

    atleast you still live umbra. we need that.

    keep running. get home soon.


  3. I ended up passing out shortly after this. It was a weird situation to be caught in between the Caged One and Executor both.

    Zahir, I was user the speaker on my cellphone which translated it to the blog. So typing and reading was really not required for this. On top of that, you can read in dreams.
    Also, it's pretty easy to tell the difference between ketchup and blood, only a novice would mix the two up.


    Ike, it's fine. I passed out, got some sleep, and my mind shut the fuck up finally.


    Gweithredwr, many things.

  4. I have relied on Cage for protection and saftey before, though I know not the motivations of your Caged One, so it may not be as good for you to let him take over. Regardless, good luck, a fighter you are indeed, keep fighting.

    See you around

  5. Someone seems angry about our meeting of the minds. It was nearly entertaining to see you believe you were awake; groping at that phone to make some sort of contact with the outside world. You didn't on many occasions, the sheer suspicion you were not really awake. It would seem the Caged One is still strong; but she is weakening. I severely doubt your mind will be able to withstand further punishment for long. Hide your location all you like for now, Lady; you will be found. This delay only enables me to be a far more despicable man.

  6. In military strategy, it has always been effective to concede terrain to the enemy in order to improve organisation.

    Perhaps a similar approach may yield better results. Complete resistance is more likely to break than malleable resistance. Withdraw then counter. Whether or not it works is unimportant. Change is an improvement on the status quo.


  7. Heheh Shady my lovely little gore blossom...

    You and I have something special, you know that? Its almost like we're telepathically connected or something. You and I... we're meant to be together.

    Run run as fast as you can my love, run home to me :)

    I'd be willing to come help you if you'd like. I have a van. I could try and locate you by tracking your cell phone...

    All you have to do is ask.

  8. The Archivist, began piecing myself back together in order to do just that. Thank you, very insightful.


    The Advocate, I've come to my senses enough. I just crossed Maine's border, barely. These injuries are getting worse, I can barely manage on my own anymore.

    I don't like it but I need your offered help.