Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Forty-Fifth Post.

Doctor Proctor is back. Hijacked the body of the empty proxy that attempted to assault me. It can be read there, and what else is to come from the information he has gathered. It's a lot to take in, but reading his notes and listening to him speak assists greatly. He insists he rambles, it's quite amusing, I consider it the opposite. It's details, that's exactly what I need from him. It's all information and the more the merrier. More on this will be written when I have studied everything and memorized it wholly.

The bag of dicks known as Thuggee is probably going to be PMSing about this, toss him a tampon people. And the Advocate, I had suspicions, idle thoughts on the possibility. But the confirmation is enough to make me punch the nearest wall, which I did the moment Proctor went to bed. Fuck you, Advocate. If you ever come back here... On second thought, don't. Don't ever come here if you know what's good for you.

Lullaby hasn't contacted me again. MASC agents said they left pretty quickly, which confirms the end of Lullaby's post. What's wrong, dove? I thought you weren't all that concerned? Then again, your feelings towards me hunting you down and dragging you back means nothing to me. Little girl, you don't know a thing about responsibility and just what it does to people. You may age rapidly but it hasn't made an impact on your intellect and common sense. But in any case, Auntie loves you all the same, child. Be seeing you.

Joshua and I are fighting again, which relates to the previous post. Brood has intervened on our conflicts. My eye is a bit bruised after I said something inappropriate but factual. Joshua was displeased by it, he gave me a black eye and I gave him a bloody lip. The moment things get better between us they get worse a moment later.

Commentary that led to this outcome:

"What are you going to do? Just hunt her down and murder her like she did Billy? What about all those morals you insisted on before?"

"When I had no memory?"

"It was better when you had nothing! You weren't so bloodthirsty."

"I'm doing something about what has happened to our friend, our brother. And you sit on your ass, bitterly, or are off fucking Josie behind closed doors. The only useful thing you have done is with our technology. Otherwise you've done nothing to contribute to avenging him."

"This isn't about avenging him to you, #@%$^%&, it's revenge. You'll turn into a monster, you're already one as it is. Imagine what will happen if you continue."

"At least I'm fucking honest with myself, you condescending prick. You just lie to yourself about what is right in front of you. You sure it's just Road Runner suffocating on her own illusions? Or are you just mad you didn't do something before, and sulk now because of it? Maybe if you contributed... Maybe it would have done something. But no, I'm still here and he's dead. Stand the fuck back up, you bitch, and do something if you really want to."

And that was when he punched me, and I returned it in full. Brood intervened, naturally grabbing Joshua and pulling him away to another room while soldiers held me. Once they were out of sight I was released, looked directly at Josie who immediately looked away. Upon glancing back at me I motioned for her to follow with my finger.

I left into the woods, she followed as planned. The moment we were out of the wards, behind some trees, I rounded on her. Her shirt was in my hands, her back against a tree, and our noses inches apart. My anger at all the behind the scenes bullshit I have yet to list, as has she, finally at its limit.

"I don't know what you are doing, or want from my brother, but if you do a single thing to add to his suffering I will smite you worse than Thuggee could ever do. I'll gladly burn everything you love, crush every dream, and break every bone in your frail little body if you cross him. Fuck me over all you like, but if you endanger him I'll bring your world to ruins."

She was terrified, the labored breathing, her tight grip on my hands, the pupils. Her survival mode activated, beyond that there was nothing. I know her, I see right through the kindness and innocence. No one believes me, with good reason perhaps, but I see it plain as day. I waited for an answer as she stared at me, by a fraction she calmed down. Her hues looking into mine as her face calmed a bit, "But you already make him suffer so much. I can't help it if pain comes between me and him, that stuff just happens if stuff doesn't work out. You can help it but you don't."

I could feel myself twitch. "This isn't about Joshua and I. This is about you and him and what I will do to you if you cross him. Get it straight, Josie. I don't give a flying fuck about whatever is going on between you two, or the petty feelings that tie into it. If it works it works, if it doesn't that's just as dandy." I pressed her harder into the tree. "But that's not what I'm referring to and you know that. Mister Creevey sent me a message, you know. And I'm just positive you're about ready to flee, given the circumstances. I can only imagine the amount of emails you have from that creature. And I damn well know how it will affect Joshua if you up and disappeared, abandoned this place without a single word."

"What... What did he say to you?"

"Your suffering will know no bounds for this transgression." I let that sink in a moment before continuing, "He means to punish me because I didn't kick you to the curb from his announcement. Because I'm giving you a home, teaching you to fight back, and keeping you here mostly for protection."

Josie returned to being terrified. "He's really coming here. You have to help me! I'll run, just let me go. He's coming here-"

My hand  covered her mouth as she began to grow frantic. "Good. We'll kill him when he does." Her eyes leaked tears when she realized she was bait. "And I will help you, Josie. Stop being a coward and start showing something of worth. We're going to kill your greatest fear."

"What if we don't kill him?" She asked when I removed my hand.

I stepped back from her, "Then we'll wound him. We'll track him down as we are Lullaby and Road Runner. A wounded animal doesn't get to far, and honey, we're going to hit him with a semi-truck."

"You can't... You haven't seen what he can do!" She wailed.

I shrugged and let her go completely. "I'm sure I'm going to find out."

"He's going to kill us."

"Some of us, probably." I began heading back towards the mansion, she directly at my side, shaking like a leaf.

"He's going to kill you." Josie insisted.

I flashed her a grin, "He's going to try."


I'm just making best friends everywhere, aren't I? Ha. Oh if only that mattered at this point. Joshua will be storming my room the moment he reads this. Be it today, tomorrow, whenever. But all the fucks I give. This blog is a recording on what happens in my life, so here it is. A recording on what is happening.

As our enemies are being tracked so am I doing the tracking of another kind. The next location to visit. Mystery left some interesting suggestions, I'm not saying where I'm looking to go next but a place is in mind. And, after-all, there is still the bigger job to do aside from dealing with petty murderous proxies. Oh yes, that's right, petty. Can you hear it? The sound of your own brain ticking at the rising anger from the truth of your own worth? Oh, I can and it's fucking beautiful.

Stay safe,
-Sir Gives A Fuck, Shady


  1. I'll have you know that what I do is everything! The furthest thing from Petty.
    It is, after all, all I'll ever know.

    1. Oh but darling, I don't know that yet because I don't know you yet. Therefore that was not directed towards you, but towards my enemies whom I know quite well. And they will always be such.

      Question: Are you trying to learn other things?

    2. Short Answer: No.

      Long Answer: I technically am a barber. That count?

    3. That's something different. Do you want to learn other things?

    4. Not particularly. They had to teach me to cut hair because I would get impatient in between kills.

    5. Haha, clever idea on their part. So you have no interests outside of what you do?

    6. What I did...
      I got in some trouble. I'd kill to do some actual hunting.

    7. You're a curious case, dear. How often are you sent out?

    8. I'm always out. It was a matter of how long it took me to get from one mark to the next. People on my list tend to be scattered about.

    9. Hm. You'll have to tell me a tale or two sometime then from past marks, dear.

    10. Certainly have a few tales. I'm being advised to be smart about this though. I'll have to think up some of the more harmless ones.

    11. Whatever you wish to tell I am willing to hear.

  2. Good to be back. Things have changed so much though, it might take me a while to adapt... I'll try not to drag you down with my dead weight.

    1. Hardly dead weight. Knowledge is a weapon, Proctor.

  3. Oh I can play this game too! Hehehe.


    See, now we're both throwing around pointless threats.

    Babe, you still owe me like... three whole favors. Ring ring, hello? Hehehe

    1. Advocate, the probability of you being the one to bring me harm and/or attempt to take my life is high. On top of which those like Proctor and Joshua, etc. And that's now mainly due to your boss. I think the whole favor thing will end up evening out on its own, considering things.

      It's funny, you act so free yet are not in the least. Leashed to Thuggee like his previous lap dog. Huh. Funny indeed.

      Oh well. Don't bother calling, Advocate. You won't get an answer for a while, if ever.

    2. Hehe me a leashed thing? :) You misunderstand my actions. Sometimes the best way to get to the top is to kiss the bottom... and then blow the entire thing up, and claim what remains. Hehehe. Why scale a tower when you can just the top to your level and bury everyone else beneath the rubble?

      It all revolves around what I want to do, really. If I want to be the king, I'll take the crown. If I want to capture the girl's heart, I'll cut it out and keep it in a box. And if I want a room to clear, well I'll throw a party. Speaking of which... Hehe I have something I'll be sending you sometime.

      I've got a doctor's appointment first though. Hehehe see you soon, darlin'. AND, I will call you sometime. And you will pick up. Love ya!