Shady has a new psychiatrist but she won't tell me much about him. He hasn't fled or ended up in the hospital so I can only hope she's content with this one.
I tried to talk to her today but she wasn't being responsive.
"Shady, come on... I know you don't want to kill anyone. Tell them and stop being difficult. You don't have to be here."
Her face slackened. "Must not tell lies."
"Shady..."
"Must not tell lies. Must not tell lies." She continued and wouldn't stop.
"You don't want to kill people. Tell them, Shady! Shady!"
She held her head and covered her ears as her voice grew progressively louder until she was screaming, "Must not tell lies!"
The orderlies came for her and held her down, she fought them and the look of betrayal from when she was admitted there returned. Shady almost reached me before they dragged her back to the bed and began strapping her down. I backed out of the room as she screamed, "Hear that, Joshy? Do you fucking hear that? It's the sound of me breaking, you coward!"
I don't know what to do right now; she keeps flipping from unstable to her old self. Part of me thinks she's trying to come back but how can she when she's so broken? I believe in her and I want to believe there is hope for her too. I see her hatred, it's one of the few consistent things with her. It might be what's keeping her around as insanity tries to take over. I don't even think that makes much sense but trying to think like Shady never does. I can only hope she knows what she's doing. I guess that was really always the job of Watson, sit by and support Sherlock no matter what shit he got himself into.
Joshua
Pressuring her until she starts screaming and has to be restrained is good for her, really. I can feel where you deserve to carry that righteous fucking attitude of yours.
ReplyDeleteDo you even know her? No, I didn't think so. Fuck off, brat.
DeleteI know her rage, cunt.
DeleteThat makes you qualified? I know her suffering. You encouraging her rage with all this talk on fire and bullshit doesn't help.
DeleteI remain convinced she would have been fine with her actions had she not been mind fucked by your girlfriend's demon.
DeleteHad she not been mind fucked she would be fine; or so I hope, but that's not the case here. What are you even doing here? You proxies or whatever you are only come to kill her or drag her into your pit. Are you trying to fuck with her?
DeleteYou runners have strong calves! You only ever come around when you finish a lap.
DeleteYour sister seems naturally in tune with the very nature of the flame and I find it fascinating. I can understand how it can aid one of my kind. It's interesting to see it aid one of your kind.
We're not running. We're not like my ex girlfriend. Shady has always stood in this ruined mansion and fought. This is what we do, we fight you. My sister always has to understand everything and she'll use it to her advantage. Whatever your flame is she'll dominate you all with it and I'll be there to have her back.
DeleteIf that is her passion so be it. I can't pick and choose things based on their outcomes. I have my own passions to chase.
DeleteGo chase your passions then and leave us alone, bird boy.
DeleteThis is one of them. We have a date with a cliff dear Joshua. We have so much falling to do.
DeleteBring it on, brat. You'll be dead before we even hit the ground. You don't have a trump card like I do up your sleeve.
DeleteUnderestimating your opponent is a terrible point of pride. Mustn't brag about your advantages. I'd like to be surprised.
DeleteIt isn't bragging when it's the obvious. You don't have someone who would rip apart heaven and hell and drag you back out. That's a fact, duck.
DeleteI apparently don't fucking need it. Death didn't stop me the first time. I can only hope the next beautiful death I earn won't be another fucking waste of my time. Bring it!
Delete...
Besides, I do have one person like that.
I'm surprised. It will be impressive if that person sticks by you that long. Don't you have a habit of killing everyone?
DeleteWe both have a rough history like that. Could have been what brought us together honestly.
DeleteI guess we'll have to see how it plays out, duck. Don't die before we have our match.
DeleteYou either, hourglass.
DeleteI do not really know what this is about.
DeleteBut I would drag Swan,
kicking and screaming,
from either location.
I don't understand why but okay. Even if he's a dick and even if I don't understand why it's good he has someone. I only know you from when Shady mentions your emails, Ember. Swan should count himself lucky and not take you for granted.
DeleteWe only talked for a little,
DeleteShady and I,
but she is a braver person than me.
I am... Sorry for the state she is in.
I really am.
She likes you, that much I know. Thank you for your kindness.
DeleteThankyou for your own.
DeleteI would try and visit.
Buy you know how it is...
There are people I need to kill.
I don't agree with what you're doing but I get it. Your want is appreciated enough.
DeleteI do not agree with it either.
DeleteBut I do not have to agree.
Not in order to do it anyway.
Keep safe Joshua.
Swan is correct, Joshy. Keep bending her till she breaks and THEN you'll be making real project. Hehehehe.
ReplyDeleteDon't stress it, little Amish goat. I'll handle Shady's "Recovery" ;) Hehe
Agreeing with your own kind, I'm not surprised. You keep the hell away from my sister or you'll lose your balls. All you do is hurt her. That's all you know how to do! It's beyond me why she gives you any chances.
DeleteAdvy'll be the one by her side, maybe sticking her with a needle or two, when you'll be raging and beating your fists on the wall she's made to keep you out. Your threats are pointless. It baffles me why you insult the people that care about her instead of trying to be productive. Maybe you want to find fault in them rather than seeing it in yourself. maybe you just want someone to blame, someone to threaten rather than face your own demons..
DeleteI'm dealing with my demons. My sister is worth doing that for. I know I can't help her if I can't help myself first. You think that freak is good for her? I'm threatening a man who has done nothing but threaten her. He's threatened to take everything from her for his own greed; and yet you encourage them to be together. Do you really think she deserves that? Him! If you cared about her you would protect her from monsters like him.
DeleteHa. I hate that bastard, and I'd enjoy him dead. Doesn't matter. He makes sense to her, and vice versa. You can't protect people from their own choices. She deserves to be happy, and preferably sane.
DeleteIf you couldn't save her from herself then, what makes you think you can do it now?
Somethin's gotta change. She deserves better than this.
ReplyDeleteShe deserves a life, she deserves to be happy. My sister doesn't deserve to be reduced to an asylum. I've spent years watching over her. After she murdered Smiles, after Limeport; when she came back who took care of her? Billy and I. She murdered so many people as a kid, Dia, as a child. Then she comes back without a single memory of them. Familiar to us through photo albums and tales told by a family that only existed by her ignorant will. Do you know what that did to Billy and I? Having to play dumb on everything she has done to not break her. Here you all shit on me for trying to keep her from danger. My choices of protecting her just because you're protective over her. You weren't in the front row at the beginning of this show, Dia. None of you were. I tried to stop her from returning to all of this and be happy. Live blissfully ignorant. She left after that, ran away. I never heard from her no matter what I did.
DeleteYou all have only just met her. I grew up with her. My sister deserves better than this, than all of you. Do you think she would have wanted to go crazy and killed more M.A.S.C. soldiers and possibly civilians? I did what she would have wanted me to. I love her more than you, more than that insane fuck. She's my family and you can all go to hell. Telling me she deserves better I FUCKING KNOW SHE DOES!
Then do something about it besides whine. You helped drive her to the point she's at. You've admitted it, she's screamed it at you, and there's probably more to the story we just aren't getting.
DeletePlay the White Knight or shut up. You're making things worse every visit you make and every breath you take.
I haven't been helpful during the times her and I have spoken. All we do is argue but I'm actively protecting her otherwise. She hasn't recorded the times I ran into the woods and found her there because of Thy Executor. When I had to fight Prosper by myself because she was bleeding everywhere and half in a trance. She doesn't tell you how I'm searching for ghosts across the globe for her, that our security here is so fantastic because I spent days making sure she had the best. I am her White Knight, I have always been. We might disagree a lot but my motives for keeping her safe haven't ever changed. There is a lot to the story you aren't getting. She's in there to not hurt herself or the people she's recruited as comrades. I want her out but I want her to be okay when she finally is; I want her to have a home that's safe. When we admitted her was this a safe home, was she in the right mind, do you think she wouldn't have hurt people? I'm fixing it, if you don't like it that's your problem. At least I'm actually here for my friends and not hiding.
DeleteYou can't protect somebody from being what they are.
DeleteAwfully pointed there, aren'tcha joshua? It might be of worth to note that Swan and I are agreeing.. such a thing is a sad sight to see.
Delete