Sixth visit 8/8/12

Something is happening to the wards around here. I tried to fix them but I don't know anything about magic so I didn't do much other than look. It's almost as if they are failing for some reason, which doesn't make sense when I read the notes. Shortly after noticing this we were attacked by a few masked people. The ones that weren't shot dragged off a few of Brood's men. When we went scouting for them in the morning we found two of the soldiers disemboweled and strung up like party decorations.

Brood tried contacting Mystery about the wards but we haven't heard anything back yet. I'm still tracking her and she's still alive out there. I understand she's working very hard but this is important. Please, if you're still reading these contact us.

When I visited Shady today she was unconscious. I sat beside her bed and did some reading and could hear her talking in her sleep every now and then.

"It won't last."
"Just fix it."
"Worth the crazy."
"I need out."
"I don't care about the pain."

She was quiet for a while, her face scrunched into almost concentration as she breathed easily.

"Do it."

More silence followed and I figured she was back into the deep sleep. Except she started squirming and screaming to the point the nurses came in to try and calm her. An orderly dragged me out and I sat outside waiting. It didn't last long and she didn't wake up at all. I called in to check on her for a few days afterwards and they said she was unconscious like that for half the week.

Executor, is this your doing?

Joshua

Fifth visit 7/30/12

I think I'm just going to start recording theese for myself now, I can't bear to keep posting these things anymore. I don't see what good they do or how they help; all of this is just a record of our poorly established existence. I lost count of how much I had to drink tday and still I'm not even drunk. Shady always joked about my becoming an alcoholic with my job.

I hsould have seen way back then all of this. There was a lot of signs but I missed them all somehow. Maybe it was denial. I used to love the supernaturla, I was the science fiction guy, number one nerd in the school. She was the shadow on the wall, always there but out of sight and out of mind. It was as if she didn't even exist, sometime I think even without her memories she still had some familiarity with what happened. She knew somehow and so she hid until one day she just dissappeared.

My sister isn't a bad person, she just has bad methods. I know this even if I don't act like it because I don't approve of her aproach. It's getting results  but at what cost? I'm painted out to be a bad guy, it was never her intention and I know that. She's like a sister to me, she has always been there and now she's not and I'm drinking again. I did it when she left the first time, I was so upset. Billy and I spent all our time together trying to make up for Sel-Smile's death.

I hate using these nicknames for one another now. I miss our real names, I miss calling my old friend by the name she was born with. I mis calling my sister by a name she has mostly forgotten. It feels like she doesn't even have one anymore. Sometimes I think it's for the better, in Mystery's notes she says names have power; but should someone really erase their identity like that? It just feeels so wrong.

I went to visit her again today, she was startled and paranoid.

"He's trying to get in again, he'll get in eventualy. But I won't let him even if he does!" She had screamed the last part. "They know I'm here. I'm stuck like a caged animal. I can't go anywhere, he has all the time in the world. Picking my brain apart on random nights. I nver know when to expect him, I cant sleep. I don't want to sleep."

I couldn't comfort her at all. She curled up in my lap and I rocked her, like she used to do to her litle brother. Her hands tightly held onto my shirt for reassurance and I promised her I wasn't going   anywhere. Eventually she fell asleep but I still didnt leave her side which I am glad for because she woke up fifteen minutes later. Labored breathing, screaming and crying, clawing at her own head. Shady was having a nightmare about Mister Creevey and its name poured from her mouth repeatedly.

"Is Creevey still in there?" I had asked her once she stirred.

"No."

"It is the Executor?"

"Yes."

"Why is he visiting you again?"

"He's trying to do something with whatever Creevey left behind."

"What does he want?"

Shady's eyes glazed over and she drifted back asleep. She stayed that way and seemed at peace for now. Her pulse returned to normal so if he was visitng her he mus have had enough.

I left and got the information on her current psychiatrist, we talked on the phone and he was reassuring about their conversations. She sounded sane when they talked, a bit off but not crazy. It confused me when I saw in thesee visits how she behaved liek a lose cannon. He talked about how she had some troubling issues and I asked if she mentioned a few times to which he denied most of them. I'm going to contact this guy more, maybe set up a meeting and get to know him in person. Something just doesnt sit right.

Joshua

Forth visit 7/22/12

Shady was incredibly calm today. She wore a faint smile on her face and didn't say anything for a while. We sat mostly in silence at first before I asked how she was.

"Good. I was able to sleep. How are you?"

"Concerned for you mostly. The Advocate said he was coming for a visit and I'm trying to help keep him away." Her smile only grew. "He already visited, didn't he?"

"I slept very well." I choked a little. "Don't worry, you prude. It's not what you're thinking."

I frowned. "So you two..."

"No shotgun wedding is necessary, though he may enjoy such a thing." Her eyes rolled. "I'm not exactly innocent, you know."

I pointed at her. "Stop. I didn't drive here to talk sex." Her smile turned into a devious grin. "We'll talk about all of that later. He didn't hurt you, did he?"

She traced the cut on her face. "No, none of these are from him. We simply enjoyed one anothers company. He made the screaming quiet down for a night, it was pleasant."

I don't get how a guy that insane could quiet whatever screaming she's hearing in her head. I'm not all that happy he visited her but if it's the reason she's so calm I have to be thankful, if only for the results of the matter. Advocate, you can still go fuck yourself off a cliff.

"The Tall Man has been outside." that got my attention. "Just stands there, doing nothing. It came in here once before and I had awoken to its presence. We watched each other. I don't understand. Some days I think I'm just hallucinating those sightings. Why doesn't it do anything?"

"Maybe because it's already doing something without you realizing it. You're doubting yourself and what you see. What happened to those detective eyes?"

"Maybe they were taken."

I watched as she fell silent and tried to keep her talking. "Are you okay?"

"I don't like not seeing."

"Not seeing what, Shady?"

"The truth."

She became unresponsive after that, a few mumbled words but she mostly sat in silence. I talked to her for a while but it seemed less with her and more at her. Shady lost motivation to care after our talk and I left sometime afterwards.

Third visit

You internet douchebags really have me thinking more than I want to. I went for another visit today.

"I'm sorry."

Shady was sitting on the bed with her wrist chained to the post this morning. They've been trying to keep her on the bed to get her to sleep more. She's bruised and has some cuts, I confronted the nurses on it and they said the other patients got into a fight with her. She didn't look at all bothered by them, indifferent as always. When I asked her about the damage done she just looked at me and said nothing. I don't know why she won't tell me who did it. "Are my readers biting your dick off?" She changed the topic with a slight smile.

"You have no idea." I smiled in return. She just knew as always. I don't know if she was heavily medicated or feeling calmer compared to the other days; I was just glad to see her more like herself. "Are you okay aside from the bruises?"

"No." She rasped. "I sit in here and rot. Just thinking about the previous asylum and everything that came before it. Just..."

I recognized that look on her face. "You weren't you."

"She's dead." She growled.

The nurse abruptly came in, shooting me an weird glare before freeing Shady from her shackle. She left without saying a thing. I was getting the feeling the staff wasn't too happy with her here. I'm going to talk to her current doctor and see what's up. The moment the nurse left Shady sprang to her feet, pacing to the closed door and staring at it a moment.

"Shady..."

"Forgiveness is not an option."

"You plan to hate yourself forever?"

"I am a creature of hate."

"You said before hate isn't a means to an end."

"I thought that once before."

"You'll never find peace that way."

"I am not a creature of peace."

"Do you think she would want this?"

Shady switched into rage and screamed, "Do you think she wanted to be dead? She was everything to me! She was going to be my wife!"

It stumped me for a second before I tried to reason. "You know she doesn't enjoy watching you tear yourself apart."

Her eyes narrowed at me. "You think she's watching over me?"

"Yes."

"How can she when I'm still animating her existence like I did my kin?" I watched her head slowly tilt and her face grow grim. "She's not resting in peace so neither will I."

Shady stood there about a minute before returning to the bed and sitting down. Our conversation died off slowly after that. I sat with her until they asked me to leave and this time she made eye contact with me. A brief moment of her being normal while she can be, I'm taking it as a token.

My sister was able to avenge Billy by killing Lenore but how can she avenge Smiles when she's the murderer? I'm starting to understand things more. She wants to avenge Smiles but she can't, she has obligations now she has to fulfill. She really loved Smiles. No wonder it's so hard for her to accept any form of affection, when she does she doesn't know what to do with it. Billy and I were her brothers. Her relationship with us was always family, brotherly and sisterly protection with one another. Smiles was a whole different level of love and protection.

Lenore Grigor also known as the Road Runner is dead. It doesn't make her feel much better on most days. I get why she snapped mentally and emotionally more now. Physically it was that Mister Creevey freak. When Lenore went she was reminded of Smiles and how incomplete things are. She's helping everyone but herself. I hope she sees she can't continue that way.

Shady knows she's fucked up and has admitted it while I was there; and she knows she needs to finish fixing herself. Her time there will help sort herself out. She wants to leave the asylum so badly, but...

"Don't let me out of here too soon."

"Why?"

"They aren't ready yet."

"Who isn't ready?

"My enemies."

"What aren't they ready for?"

"What I'm going to do to them."

Second visit

Shady has a new psychiatrist but she won't tell me much about him. He hasn't fled or ended up in the hospital so I can only hope she's content with this one.

I tried to talk to her today but she wasn't being responsive.

"Shady, come on... I know you don't want to kill anyone. Tell them and stop being difficult. You don't have to be here."

Her face slackened. "Must not tell lies."

"Shady..."

"Must not tell lies. Must not tell lies." She continued and wouldn't stop.

"You don't want to kill people. Tell them, Shady! Shady!"

She held her head and covered her ears as her voice grew progressively louder until she was screaming, "Must not tell lies!"

The orderlies came for her and held her down, she fought them and the look of betrayal from when she was admitted there returned. Shady almost reached me before they dragged her back to the bed and began strapping her down. I backed out of the room as she screamed, "Hear that, Joshy? Do you fucking hear that? It's the sound of me breaking, you coward!"

I don't know what to do right now; she keeps flipping from unstable to her old self. Part of me thinks she's trying to come back but how can she when she's so broken? I believe in her and I want to believe there is hope for her too. I see her hatred, it's one of the few consistent things with her. It might be what's keeping her around as insanity tries to take over. I don't even think that makes much sense but trying to think like Shady never does. I can only hope she knows what she's doing. I guess that was really always the job of Watson, sit by and support Sherlock no matter what shit he got himself into.

Joshua

First visit

I checked myself into Limeport for a visit, they told me where to go and to wait for an orderly to assist me. I didn't want to go in immediately and cracked the sliding window on the door slightly. It was enough to listen to her singing quietly. I could make out a blank room with a bed that had been dragged into the middle of it. The nurse at the front desk told me they had to move her temporarily from the room she's been assigned to; Shady not only scared off the first psychiatrist but sent her second to the hospital before I arrived today. She cracked the wall of her room with his head and they had to clean the stains.

There were no windows in this room and only a dimming light; for a new building it looked like it was going bad fast. Shady just laid there strapped to the bed and staring at the ceiling; she sung for a bit and I waved away the orderly a few times. It abruptly came to a halt which was followed by her mumbling, "I think it's rude for us to be talking in front of Joshua as if he's not here. But then again, he hasn't even said hello and is pretending as if he isn't even here." She looked at me and grinned madly while adding, "Ain't that right, boy?"

I don't know how she knew I was there but I couldn't stay. I cancelled my visit today and went back to Haven. There's something wrong with her.

Joshua

Shady is gone

It's Joshua if you haven't guessed. Agent Brood and I have decided she's no longer fit to remain here. You guys really don't know the half of it, we had to lock her in the cellar so she wouldn't hurt anyone. After she killed Lenore she broke down completely, held her head screaming until finally she passed out. When she woke up everything was different, none of us could get her to snap out of it. Shady broke out of the cellar and killed both guards positioned at the door. She hurt a lot of people, including me.

The wards finally rejected her and she was forcefully removed by them. I ran out to her and tried to talk which I'll admit was my own mistake. The look on her face was so hateful and she didn't even say anything as she approached me. I don't know what I was expecting, certainly not what happened. She stabbed me the moment she was close enough and tried to a few more times which only cut up my arms. When the knife was out of her grasp she began beating me, screaming god knows what.



She tore me up pretty badly before Agent Brood hit her in the back of the skull with his gun. Shady immediately turned her wrath onto Agent Brood; they fought a short bit until he managed to knock her down. She tried to get up a few times, after a few hits with his gun; he was trying to yell some sense into her but she was having none of it. My friend was seething and the look on her face never left. Finally after enough hits she just gave up and a few MASC soldiers bound her while she was barely conscious.

Agent Brood and I didn't know what else to do so we devised a plan of action: place her in a mental hospital.



A medic helped me fix myself up and a long sleeve shirt covered the damage done. My bruised face and neck would just be proof for her admission there.

Limeport Asylum was practically destroyed and was forced to relocate; we drove her out to the new building and I checked her in. Agent Brood sat in the lobby with her; when I came back over she was more conscious but docile. She was singing in a soft whisper what I made out to be Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, the reason I mention this is because she stared at me the entire time she did so. Shady hasn't sung anything in so long, I don't think she has since Smiles died.

An orderly and nurse helped her stand, she just looked at them before turning back to Agent Brood and I. The look on her face was utter betrayal. What were we supposed to do? She couldn't enter Haven because of the wards and this development, we couldn't let her go home; for all we know she would murdered the neighborhood. We were out of options and I can only hope this calms her, even if it takes time. The amount of energy she had combined with whatever hatred she was felt was terrifying before.

Agent Brood regrets what this has come to. He has tried getting a hold of Mystery, even I have through tracking. She has been unresponsive in all the efforts we have made. I kind of wish Josie was here but after that event I can't even bring myself to really hold onto wanting that. Agent Brood has taken over everything not that Con is happy about it. Mr. Sunshine had to be tackled and sedated during the whole incident earlier, the moment Shady lost it he began attacking anyone who raised a weapon to defend themselves. We had to lock him in one of the spare room and are still waiting for him to calm down. Agent Brood suggested it might take a while from what he has seen. I feel horrible that all of this happening.

I decided to make my own account after I hacked Shady's, I'm connecting the two to become a contributor for the time being. I'll update this when I visit Shady, it's the least I can do.

Joshua